This weekend and last, some seriously high-profile movies hit the silver screen. Take our quiz below to determine which darkened theatre you should cozy up in come Saturday.
1. You’re idea of a dream date is:
a) Swaying to Gershwin
b) Sneaking into an underground London dance party
c) Somewhere outside my god-forsaken life
d) White water rafting in South American rapids
e) Involves either souped-up motorcycles or a whole lot of gazing into one another’s eyes
2. You’d be honoured to count yourself a member of:
a) A prestigious, maverick theatre company
b) A band of renegades
c) A faculty dedicated to helping its troubled students
d) An apocalypse cult
e) An undead family of stunningly beautiful vampires who throw you totally awesome B-day parties
3. You like a man who:
a) Is a little bit younger, and a whole lot cute
b) Marches to the beat of his own drummer, no matter what
c) Can be called on for late-night edits to your moving autobiography
d) Knows how to out-drive an earthquake
e) Has a bizarre body temperature
4. You look up to:
a) Orson Welles in all his mad genius
b) Pirates and The Who
c) Oprah
d) An annoying false prophet with delusions of grandeur (what’s up, Daniel Pinchbeck?)
e) Unlikely heroes
5. You’d love your bumper sticker to read:
a) I de-virginized Zac Efron, and I LIKED IT!
b) This car floats in international waters. COME GET ME, BITCH!
c) Stay strong and carry on
d) It ain’t over til it’s over
e) I have friends in undead places
MOSTLY A’s: Me and Orson Welles
Spend your weekend gazing girlishly at a young Zac Efron, as he skips school to be a part of Orson Welles’ legendary production of Caesar. He’ll skip along the streets of NYC, be charmed by an alluringly Claire Danes, and have artistic rendezvous involving Keats. You’ll spend the rest of your weekend listening to Gershwin, reading The New Yorker, and desperately wishing you swayed in 1937 NYC.
MOSTLY B’s: Pirate Radio
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, you’ve done it again. This time, he’s the rogue DJ pirating a ship of full of misfits sticking it to the British government. Spend the night gorging on amazing 60’s music, then invite the gang back to your place for a roll-back-the-rugs, burn the roof down dance party.
MOSTLY C’s: Precious
Get ready to cry. And cry, and cry as the painful story of Precious unfolds. Abused, abandoned, but never giving up, watch this survivor tackle the odds, then head home to write about your life goals in your journal, reflect on the choices you’ve made, and be seriously ready to take on any obstacle.
MOSTLY D’s: 2012
It just ain’t the Christmas season without an annoying apocalyptic blockbuster sent to scare the paranoid back to their bunkers. This one has John Cusack, though, so we’ll give it some credit. Buckle up for a bumpy ride, action-adventure style.
MOSTLY E’S: The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Ah, angst-ridden teenage (sort of) romance. Sigh, dreamy hunk of vampire man. Swoon, tough and muscly werewolf dude. This is pure pre-teen crack, and we’re embarrassed by how much we love it. Prepare to fight off the other Twi-hards at packed screenings, bedazzle yourself a ‘Team Edward’ tshirt, and spend the rest of your weekend secretly wishing your boyfriend could morph into an uberwolf and save you from creepy undead stalkers.