January 9th-26th Hedwig & The Angry Inch @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. “A rock concert with plenty of biographical interludes courtesy of trans-bombshell Hedwig, former East-German twink and lead singer of nonchalant indie band ‘The Angry Inch’. This production takes the audience through a tragic story of betrayal, emotional and physical sacrifice, and love.” $35 or $25 for students and arts workers (tickets availableonline). Show runs Wednesday through Saturday.

January 21st-27th Toronto Design Offsite Festival @ various locations. TO DO is a not-for-profit, indie design festival happening annually. Its aim is to provide exposure for local and national designers; to foster public understanding and knowledge of the practice of design; and to create an ongoing presence that promotes Canada’s creativity, drawing on great thinkers, practitioners, and educators to a deliver an innovative celebration of art and design.

January 24th-27th Come Up To My Room @ The Gladstone Hotel. 25 installations, 40 artists, and 4,000 people all in under four days! Now in its 10th year, CUTMR is an annual alternative design event that invites artists and designers to show us what goes on inside their heads. $10.

January 24th-27th Interior Design Show @ Metro Toronto Convention Centre (North Building), 255 Front St. W. The newest and most innovative in international and Canadian products presented by 300 exhibitors. Inspirational exhibits feature both emerging and established designers; and highlight international interior design, architecture, and industrial design trends. $19 tickets available online, $22 at the door.

WEDNESDAY

10 pm Heart & Strokes @ Monarch Tavern (upstairs), 12 Clinton St. From Heart to The Strokes. Time to get your dance on, every Wednesday until Armageddon! Photobooth, AC/DC pinball, and pool tables.

10 pm Sha Na Na @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. DJ Brittney (one half of the Bangs & Blush duo) plays jukebox hits and makeout songs all night long.

10 pm Mowtown, Funk, Sould! [sic] @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. Pop-up fundraiser for the Two Brothers Foundation. You don’t have to feel guilty about drinking on a Wednesday, because you’re doing it for a good cause. Best dancer gets a random book from the house bookshelf (good read not guaranteed).

THURSDAY

6 pm Gravy Train Sampling Soiree @ Junction Craft Brewing, 90 Cawthra Ave., #101. A complimentary gravy train fun-raiser awareness soiree featuring a sampling menu of lobster, bacon & beer, mushrooms, mashed potatoes, rye bread crisps, and an array of 11 craft beers to choose from (your first one is on the house). The Gravy Train is a restaurant concept that’s loosely inspired by humourous political rhetoric, yet, serious in their mission to offer a unique menu theme that centers around gravy and the art of dipping. Junction Craft Brewery is already a staple in many of Toronto’s finest establishments and growing daily. Until 9 pm.

6 pm “Common Burn” Opening Reception @ AWOL Gallery, 76/78 Ossington Ave. “Five artists. One night. Their Common Burn is ART. An evening of photography, film, and paintings.”Until 10 pm.

7 pm “Eco Art” Opening Reception @ Gallery 1313, 1313 Queen St. W. “This large group exhibition includes works about water issues, urban farming, forestry, wildlife endangerment, and many more environmental concerns as identified by over 20 artists works using film, painting, mixed media, photography, and printmaking to express their concerns.”Until 10 pm. Exhibition runs until February 3rd.

7 pm The Wa Magazine Energy Issue Launch Party @ The Mascot, 1267 Queen St. W. Arts and culture publication The Wa celebrates the launch of its newest issue! Stop by for drinks, a demo of brainwave computing (the future!), a DJ set by Max Mohenu, and a chance to grab an early copy of the print issue for $12. Followed by an after party at Wrongbar.

10 pm The Quiet Storm @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. DJ Andycapp plays four hours of melodically soulful music that provides an intimate, laid-back mood tailor-made for late-night listening and a welcome end to the stresses of the workday.

10 pm Honky Tonkin’ @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. DJ Urban Cowboy plays classic country, western swing, rockabilly, Nashville, Bakersfield, bluegrass, and old-time.

10 pm Life After Law @ Sex Laser, 1369 Dundas St. W. The year is 2059, the government has decided to spend its policing budget on a giant laser intended to blast the moon into two pieces in order to harvest valuable pink dust from its core. With DJs Alana (Motown/soul), Kentron (electro), Grizz (g-funk, alt-rock), Yoyoball (hip-hop party tunes/indie), and SVEN3 (soul/bangers) + magician Lukas Stark.

10:30 pm The Wa Magazine After Party @ Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. After Party for The Wa Magazine’s latest issue! Featuring a live set by Canadian producer/remixer/DJ extraordinaire Ryan Hemsworth+ support from locals ItsMattLangille and Adam Jackson. $10 before 12:30 am or free with a copy of The Wa’s Energy Issue (available at the Mascot from 7-11 pm).

FRIDAY

9 pm Ten Forward: A Star Trek Trivia & Dance Party @ Unlovable, 1415-B Dundas St. W. A themed night of trivia and merriment for Star Trek fans, both casual and die hard. At 9 pm, gather your away teams and set phasers to fun for One Earth-Hour of competitive Star Trek-themed trivia. Afterwards, DJs Lt. Cmndrs. (Diana and Gabe) up the phaser settings to “thrill” and play space music all night long. There will also be Star Trek-themed cocktails created from beyond the galaxy.

10 pm Jamz! @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. An anything goes, no bullshit, non-genre, dance ’til you drop, all your friends in one room, party hard, make the floor wet with sweat, shit show! With DJs Slater and Ty. $5.

10 pm Shindig! @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. Resident DJs Parkdale Funk, General Eclectic, and Splattermonkey Y’all play the very best 50’s and 60’s R&B, popcorn, rockabilly, early rock ‘n’ roll, northern soul, mod, and garage on 45s all night! $5.

10 pm Foxtrot @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. Your favourite psych, mod, glam, and rock ‘n’ roll tunes from the 60’s, 70’s, and present day.

10 pm The Big Sound @ The Great Hall, 1087 Queen St. W. Celebrating the golden age of Motown Records and the finest soul sounds! A conventional dance party-meets-25+ piece live band recreating the sound of young America before your very eyes, ears, and shaking ass. $12.

10 pm Gladiator @ The Hoxton, 69 Bathurst St. DJ set by Gladiator (L.A.) with local support from Grizzly and CBS. $10 advance tickets available at Rotate This, Soundscapes, and online. For guestlist, emailsteven@thehoxton.ca.

10 pm Least Squares @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Seeking chemistry? Dial 1-900-LST-SQURE for meaningful 1-on-1 connections, x-files house, Italo drip, and brute-force disco romance. Brandon Oliver and Andrew Wilson play the hits.

10 pm DJs Ordinary Girls @ Sex Laser, 1369 Dundas St. W. Rap sucks (no it doesn’t). DJs Ordinary Girls are back with a vengeance (not really). It’s 2013 and they’re bringing the house dowwwwwwn!! (kinda). They’re RAISIN’ the ROOOOFFFFF (sorta). $3.00 pibbers (PBRs) before 11 pm.

10 pm Mighty Real: 2 Year Anniversary Party @ Cold Tea, 60 Kensington Ave. The ultimate dance floor work out celebrates two years of DJs John Caffery and The Robotic Kid playing acid, disco, and funky house.

10 pm All That @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. A 90’s night like no other! DJs Streets and LK play mostly hip-hop, dirty R&B, and club kid jams. $5.

10 pm Massive Gritty @ Margret, 2952 Dundas St. W. DJ Jahtari plays all styles of reggae: new and old dub, roots, ska, dancehall, and more.

10 pm M7 iParty @ Crawford, 718 College St. M7 takes over two floors with explosive hip-hop, RnB, and reggae + a free iPhone giveaway! $5 before 11 pm, $10 after.

10 pm SHAG Retro Dance Party @ WAYLA, 996 Queen St. E. Get your retro groove on to the hottest music from the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. $5.

10:30 pm Fuck U Fridays @ Buddies In Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St. Alotta Cox, Anahi Batista, Robyn DeCradle, Blake Brooks, and Venus Venom make their Midnight Erotic Cabaret debut. IGBY Lizzard hosts and DJ Triple-X mashes things up before and after the performances, making sure you dance ’til the wee hours of the morning. $5.

11 pm Itzsoweezee @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. A feel-good house party atmosphere! DJs Tom Wrecks and DeMiggs play music to make you dance, smile, and holler. For guest list, emaillinebypassemailguestlist@itzsoweezee.com (closes at 11:30 pm). $10.

SATURDAY

7 pm Come Up To My Room Opening Reception @ The Gladstone Hotel (2nd Floor Gallery), 1214 Queen St. W. Join the designers, artists, organizers, and key players in the art and design community for the launch of Come Up To My Room – an annual alternative design event that features 25 installations and 40 artists. Until 11 pm. $10.

7 pm Poetry Slam @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. Local wordsmiths and performers provide an evening of spoken word, lyrical mastery and friendly competition before an always packed house. $75 goes to the best performance of the night – sign-up starts at 7:30 pm. $5.

9 pm “Don’t Trust Anyone Over 30”Release Party @ Creatures Creating, 822 Dundas St. W. “Don’t Trust Anyone Over 30” is a perfect bound, full colour book bringing together photographers in their early to mid-twenties. Alex Mctigue and Reggie McCafferty from New York, Aarin Smith from Vancouver, and some of Toronto’s up and coming artists, team up to produce this exhibition of youth and it’s restlessness.”

9 pm Glen or Glenda Dress Up Party @ The Projection Booth, 1035 Gerrard St. E. A party in honour of the legendarily bad director Ed Wood in his infamous exploitation film “I Changed My Sex! aka Glen or Glenda?”  Break out your pink cardigan, rock your slacks, fix your wig, and get ready to party all night long! With DJ Midnight Society. $8 advance tickets available online.

10 pm Laytheseknight @ The Red Light, 1185 Dundas St. W. DJs Famous Players and Patrick McGuire try their hardest not to play The Boy Is Mine five times.

10 pm Neat Neat Neat @ Handlebar, 159 Augusta Ave. Anything and everything to the tune of Brit-pop, shoegaze, twee, indie, madchester, post-punk, new wave, and mod.

10 pm Regretro @ The Henhouse, 1532 Dundas St. W. (The kind of retro night where you drink too much and sing the words to songs you probably shouldn’t know the words to.) DJ Case of Base and special guest DJ Wei Back play tunes released somewhere between 1976 and 1996*. Expect all of your old friends: Bowie, Gabriel, Morrissey, Curtis, Byrne, Summer, Turner, Le Bon, and of course Annie Lennox but also some old school hip-hop and robot-appropriate jams. *Some exceptions may apply.

10 pm Love Below @ Bambi’s, 1265 Dundas St. W. Music made by machines (and people) moving in slow motion. Codeine techno + hypno house + subterranean atmosphere with DJ Andrew Ross.

10 pm Love Design Party @ The Gladstone Hotel Ballroom, 1214 Queen St. W. A celebration of Come Up To My Room’s 10th anniversary! Featuring installations by the Department of Unusual Certainties, DJs Joe Blow and Sigourney Beaver, dancing, and cocktails.

10 pm Boogie Nights @ Unlovable, 1415-B Dundas St. W. DJs Gabe Knox, Geoff Snack, and special guest Andrew Wilson play progressive new wave, Italian disco, dollarbin disco, post-punk, new music, synth soundscapes, and rock.

10 pm Shake, Rattle & Roll @ Clinton’s, 693 Bloor St. W. A sexy, sweaty dance party! 60’s pop, soul, and rock ‘n’ roll played for you by the Bangs & Blush ladies. $5.

10 pm Ice Cold Dranks / Back In The Day @ Crawford, 718 College St. Upstairs, DJs Ry-Fi and FBomb play the best in hip-hop, pop, and party anthems. A good ol’ fashioned dance party! Downstairs, DJ Law spins the best of all the classics with music videos GALORE. $5 before 11 pm, $10 after.

10 pm Gay Nite @ Margret, 2952 Dundas St. W. Dancing and drinking in a non-breeding friendly environment! With DJs Boots Boogie, Betti Forde, The Husbears, Cozmic Cat, Dislexia, Fawn BC, and Shanelle Williams + special guest Brendan B playing queen disco and diva tracks.

10 pm F’unreal @ The Boat, 158 Augusta Ave. Music for your dancing pleasure – anything goes! $5.

10 pm Go Bang! @ Unit, 1198 Queen St. W. DJ Andy Capp plays dance music; some rare, some not.

10 pm Fast Times @ The Piston, 937 Bloor St. W. 80’s night with DJs Brendan Canning and Tweed!

10 pm Brass Tacks @ The Shop under Parts & Labour, 1566 Queen St. W. A night of hip-hop with Diggy The DJ of Down With Webster. Free before 11 pm, $5 after.

10 pm This Is How We Do It @ The Annex WreckRoom, 794 Bathurst St. Turn up the soundtrack of your youth! 90’s hip-hop and house music all night long with DJs Lexx Decibel, Rick Toxic, D-Monic, and MC JD + 90’s costumes, Nintendo on the big screen, and $1 jello shots. $10.

10 pm Pyramid Club @ Wrongbar, 1279 Queen St. W. With headliner Brennan Green (Chinatown Records NYC) and support from DJs Members Only and Natural Animal. Complimentary entry list until 11 pm, $10 otherwise. For guestlist, email guestlist@wrongbar.com.

10 pm Love Handle @ The Ossington, 61 Ossington Ave. DJs Catalist and Famous Lee throw an all-vinyl boogie funk dance party.

10 pm Panic @ Velvet Underground, 510 Queen St. W. The ultimate retro party with DJ Lazarus spinning the kind of retro that changed your life. 80’s, 90’s, new wave, classic alternatives, ska, Brit-pop, dance, shoegaze, post-punk and more. This month’s spotlight is U2. $5 before 11 pm, $10 after.

10 pm Turning Point @ The Garrison, 1197 Dundas St. W. Resident selector A Man Called Warwick and special guest Soulfinger (L.A.) share a top notch selection of vintage tropical dance floor shakers from all over the map. Dress to move and sweat!

10 pm Pressure Drop @ The Embassy, 223 Augusta Ave. DJs Chuck Boom, Morningside 116, and Guv’nor General play only the very ruffest, tuffest selections from across the different eras and styles of Jamaican music: ska, rocksteady, roots reggae, dubwize, rub-a-dub, dancehall, mento, capypso, soul, funk, and more. This month with special guest Tipper Henry, who will be digging deep into his musical vaults to play an exclusively Studio One selection. All vinyl and dubplate selection.

10 pm Crush Party: Crush On The Beach @ Club 120, 120 Church St. DJ Johnny B Goode (your ship captain) spins sexy sea jams all night long + burlesque performances by the fair sea sirens Sevvy Skellington, Barely Legal Leelando, and Belle Jumelles. $10.

11 pm Essence Brown @ Holy Oak, 1241 Bloor St. W. Sexy, smooth, seductive hip-hop, R&B, and dancehall with your hosts Mansquay and Hoi King. PWYC.

11 pm The Low Down @ The Drake Underground, 1150 Queen St. W. A dance party featuring the best in Motown, soul, R&B, and rock hits! $10.

11 pm Shake A Tail @ Sneaky Dee’s, 431 College St. 60’s pop, rock, soul, funk, garage, ska, ANYTHING! Always humid. $5.

SUNDAY

1 pm Blankets & Bows @ The Stop’s Beer Garden, 601 Christie St., Barn #4. Cozy up with some wintery beer, and tacos! This month featuring beer from Amsterdam, (Wee Heavy, Big Wheel, and a special cask) and food from Ksong Taco. BYOBlanket, or they’ll have some on hand. They’ll also have a fire with marshmallows and weather permitting, you can also go ice skating in the park. Admission is PWYC. Beer and tacos are $5 each.

8 pm Chicka Boom @ Free Times Cafe, 320 College St. An all-female comedy show! Stand-up from Steph Tolev, sketch from Emma Hunter, character monologue madness from Kat Letwin, improv impulses from Kayla Lorette and a mystery guest, stand up virginity being taken from Sonya Katrycz, and headliner Laurie Elliot. As always, Laura Bailey and Jess Beaulieu shoot the shit as your co-hosts. PWYC.

~ Caitlyn Holroyd 
(For event submissions, email caitlyn_holroyd@hotmail.com)