Choosing to be a solo parent is a decision that doesn’t come easily. For many, it’s an idea that percolates for many years. Publisher and historian Mali Bain wasn’t sure she could do it, and when she went looking for resources, she was surprised that there was very little that shared real-life stories and experiences of Canadian women who chose to raise their children alone. “This is the book that I needed,” says Mali of her powerful and eye-opening anthology Choosing Single Parenthood, which launches on Feb 13th with a virtual event and discussion.

“I had heard of other people becoming solo parents on their own but I wanted to hear more stories, more variations on the theme, more examples of the journey to get there. I especially wanted to read stories about Canadian women: the books out there tended to be about just one person, and tended to be American,” she says. So Mali went looking for stories; she reached out to community groups and posted in numerous online parenting forums, and was delighted by the response.

Choosing Single Parenthood features 15 different stories from a diverse group of Canadian women, who share in detail why they chose single parenthood. From choosing a sperm donor to insemination, pregnancy, and life with kids, they open up about their journeys and reveal the difficult questions, struggles, and complicated feelings they’ve dealt with along the way.

Through their stories, they explore love, strength, loneliness, and joy while also sharing how their family has changed and grown over time. Honest, vulnerable, and direct sharing provides tremendous insight into the many layers, challenges, and rewards that come with this choice. 

“Creating the book taught me both what we have in common, and also how beautifully diverse we are. I loved hearing the various forms of family: a woman who was a single mom (‘by chance’) in her 20s, then a single mom by choice 19 years later; a woman raised in a somewhat conservative Muslim family in Bangladesh, the first solo mom she knows of her cultural background; and a woman who is both solo parent and co-parent/foster parent to her sister’s children. These stories completely redefined ‘family’ for me, in good ways.” 

If you are considering embarking on this journey (or maybe you’re already a single parent by choice and are seeking community and connection), the Choosing Single Parenthood book launch will offer you a chance to meet other Canadian women who’ve chosen this path and answer questions you might have. 

For those who are curious, but perhaps feeling nervous, Mali offers advice: “Listen, read, ask questions, reflect, repeat. I honestly do not think I would have had the courage to become a solo mom without a life-altering concussion. Sitting with myself, and having significant time to read and reflect, helped me realize that the primary objection that I had to become a mom was some variation upon ‘I can’t do it’ or ‘I’m not enough’. Once I countered that belief, I was ready to move forward.” 

Choosing Single Parenthood Book Launch and thinkers Q&A will take place Sunday, February 13 at 8:30 PM EST.  To order the book or register for the event, go here. 

Choosing Single Parenthood is published by NextGen Story, an independent custom publishing house founded by Mali Bain.