When dancing leads to touching. And touching leads to kissing. And kissing leads to… “Dear-goodness-this-is-my-best-guy-friend-what-the-heck-is-happening-right-now?!” freak out session.
Last weekend was great, let me tell you. But my lapse in judgement forced me to think about platonic relationships between guys and girls.
No, no, this isn’t the classic When Harry Met Sally dilemma. I already believe guys and girls can be just friends. This is a bit more in-depth; what exactly sparks these relationships? And how can they bedefined?
“All guy friends seem to fall into one of three categories,” said Christine Hart, a dating and relationship expert from yourdatecoach.com. Those categories being:
1. The Younger Brother: This is the guy friend who looks up to you and respects all advice you have to offer. He may be a little lost when it comes to the opposite sex, but you’ve taken him under your wing and it’s endearing.
2. The Ego Booster: This guy compliments you all the time and makes you feel fabulous, no matter what you’re wearing.
3. Mr. Almost Perfect: This guy has a lot of qualities you look for in a partner, but is missing just one thing. That one thing being the urge to kiss him.
Hart said that many single women get most of their relationship needs through their guy friends since they do almost everything a couple would do. This, in turn, could act as an obstacle for ladies trying to find a partner.
“Women tend to become less motivated [to find a boyfriend], or they become extra picky because they think their guy friend is so much better than their date,” she said.
Makes sense. Looking back on my history of guy friends, I noticed that all of my platonic relationships began while I was single. And now, my current single stint has lasted two years and I have more guy friends than ever. But will I have to give them up if I find myself in a relationship?
“There is a protocol you have to follow once you’re in a relationship,” said Hart. “If you’re friends with a lot of guys, you need to have a conversation about that. You have to put yourself in each other’s shoes.”
But at the end of the day, Hart said there usually needs to be a compromise. And if you’re dying to hang out with your guy friends just as much as your boyfriend, it might be a sign that they’re offering you something that your boyfriend isn’t.
“It’s good to have platonic guy friends but you need to decide what the boundaries are.”
Although I have never specifically defined boundaries, I know that making out with my best guy friend was going too far. I was worried that it might ruin our friendship, but Hart said sometimes it’s good to consider your platonic relationship as a basis for something more.
“The difference between a good guy friend and a good boyfriend is a hot kiss.”
Despite crossing the friendship line, at least I can confidently say that he is (and always will be) my Mr. Almost Perfect.
~ Amanda Cupido @acupido