In which the intrepid MemeMachine offers a discerning selection of what’s buzzing on the internet. Bringing you crucial knowledge that you were presumably too busy to extract from the internet because you were off enjoying the outside world IRL. This is procrastination at its finest. You’re welcome.

Remember the exceedingly adorable Swiss show Pingu? Here’s a remake, except instead of being cute, it’s a hybrid between our favourite claymation penguin and The Thing. Actually, it’s still kind of cute.

A Youtuber with an acoustic guitar is getting her 15 minutes of fame, along with a date with Jason Segel. Chelsea Gill made a very logical, musical proposal to get Segel to go on a date with her. He saw, he tweeted, he took her to the Chicago Film Awards. Adorable. Unrelated readers poll: Would this work on Jeff Goldblum? Just wondering…

From the vault: (i.e. before Christmas, which is eons in online-time) let this be a lesson to any gentlemen out there trying to woo their girlfriends into marriage via jumbotron.

A suave Toronto kid single-handedly recreates Maroon 5’s Moves Like Jagger by layering 50 audio tracks, 76 video sequences and a whole lot of sass.

It’s funny! It’s contentious! It’s Shit Girls Say The Youtube Series! It’s been hyped up to near-death and there’s been an onslaught of copycat videos. Here’s one: the spectacularly unfunny Stuff Parents Say, particularly noteworthy because of the infinite comedic potential ruined by a decision to make it about black parents VS white parents.

Well this made my week: the time Twin Peaks was spoofed on the Simpsons.

This is what happens when five people play one guitar.

Twitter account to follow of the week: the (hopefully) fake Kim Jong-Un. @KimJongNumberUn

~Elli Stuhler, @ellistuhler