These Producers know how to make down-right dirty reality TV:
– Drunk Girls. Check.
– Drunk Girls Fighting. Check.
– Drunk Girls who are Strippers and Fight. Check.
– Drunk Girls who look like Drunk Trannies, who strip and fight. Check.
– British Horse Mouth Headmistresses who appear to have never been laid. Check.
– A fallen Miss. America known best for dabbling in coke. Check.
– Snobby Upper Class Brit Boys scolding American Girls for being uncouth and ugly. Check.
– A string of cheap pearls to rip off the neck of each badly behaved girl. Check.

The Girls of Hedsor Hall is the new reality series on MTV that locks up America’s most promiscuous, drunk and anger fueled wild child’s into a stuffy conservative British finishing school in the middle of nowhere. Dowdy old prudes lash out and tell them how disgusting they are while ex Miss America ’06, Tara Conner, aka recovering coke head / underage drunk beauty queen, echoes their scoffs while also acting as some kind of demented role model for the desperate housemates.

They are stripped of their bikinis and crop tees and forced to wear conservative uniforms. Seemingly too old for pleated plaid and blazers, they end up looking like horny mismanaged porn stars. Each girl receives a pearl necklace; the sign of all things composed, feminine and graceful (at least this type of pearl necklace… http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dzimmer_60/66_love_answers.html) If the ruthless lassies swear, bully or hide drugs than their necklace will be stricken – an indication of lost hope. (Perhaps it would be more useful to confiscate the Jack Daniel’s? )

Watching the show is like being addicted to meth – you will become want it until you twitch, but it will make you really sick and ugly. Despite her passive aggressive bitchy tendencies we think we’d rather work with Olivia Palermo ,Whitney Port’s out of control smug colleague from The City, than spend a night drinking with the girls of Hedsor Hall…only to wake up in a pile of vomit, black eye and an old bat tugging at our precious pearls.

Watch out Tyra, the bar of reality TV has been lowered again!! What’s next? MC Hammer hosting his own show about bankruptcy and parachute pants? Yep. Stay tuned.

Thursdays at 10PM on MTV Canada
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