Picture this: Sunday morning Jane Doe adorns her enormous shades, shielding hungover eyes, her after sex glow is radiant and accentuated with the residue of cum still on her gums. Lick. The five foot eight beauty leashes up her Bichon Frise and braces the piercing sun for a lovely stroll amidst scattered burnt orange leaves. A relaxing sound emits from the push and shove of knee high FRYE boots caressing giraffe like gams. A total knock out. Fluffy pooch, has just finished his cowboy cookout kibble and is ready to find adventure – whether a mucus ridden tissue in a gutter, a hissing cat from a bush or a sniff from Gracie’s backside. Heavenly. Stopping traffic with her wind blown blonde locks and gloss stained lips, Jane Doe is just about to finish her strut from street to sidewalk when HALT, her wee furry friend hunches to drop a stinky one by her foot.

Never one to let a brisk bowel movement interrupt a fashion statement Jane pulls out motorcycle glove from purse, slips her long fingers in and does a yoga pose bend to gracefully scoop the splurt with a bag just big enough for Buster’s breakfast poo.

Responsible, oh yes, she cleans up after the mess and rises up giving the pick up truck a sly wink. Dame with a dog does it with high class style.

Walking past neighbours, there is a slight odour of waste in hand but this is not viewed as a negative accessory but rather acclaimed, admired and absolutely urban.

The only ones getting smeared with this trend are those who pretend not to notice that the doggie bag fashion statement is entirely in vogue. Leave it on the curb and you are worse than a dogs turd, pick up the feces and you’re the bee’s kneesy’s. (it rhymes if you say it right asshole)

Dog poo – it’s hot shit, literally.