This week’s episode was best summed up by one word: awkward.
Things kicked off at Kara’s house, where she was convalescing after last week’s boating injury. Because apparently she is a genius, Kara has trained her three sons to ride around on Segways and bring her coffee. She claimed herself to be “the queen” of her house, and I suppose that makes her children the staff? She basically lives like the beast in Beauty and the Beast before Belle reforms him and forces him to treat his servants with dignity.
Kara also claimed she has broken a couple of ribs. Everyone else was dubious, because she was walking around in a sling, which isn’t the normal course of treatment for a broke rib according to Jana. Jana is a self-appointed expert on such things.
Later, Ann threw Roxy a surprise party at a nightclub, which went the way you would expect it to, dramatically. Everything seemed great at first. The cake was even topped with a miniature Roxy figurine in a red dress! But then, Ann played a video message from Kara, who could not be in attendance due to the injuries she sustained on account of being a rich person who can afford to go banana boating. The risk of broken ribs from boating accidents may be the true definition of affluenza.
Anyway, Roxy did not take kindly to having a message from her nemesis played at her birthday bash. But despite the fact that she didn’t even want to see a taped message from Kara, Roxy was still resentful that her frenemy didn’t show up IRL. Roxy declared Kara must be “allergic” to her birthday. Well yeah, I don’t usually go to the birthdays of people I’m in a feud with either. Is that not normal?
Anyway, because rich people don’t have to work 9-5 jobs to pay for things like food and lipstick, there were not one but two parties this episode. The first was Roxy’s aforementioned birthday. The second took place on an actual yacht. Yes, Joan owns a bona fide yacht. The Royal Family doesn’t even have a yacht anymore! This begs the question, what does Joan’s husband do for a living, and how can I marry someone who does it too?
Kara was invited to the boat party too. The reason was obviously because the producers made them invite her, but Joan claimed it was because she wanted to be ”neutral,” like Switzerland. Now, that might have been a reason to continue hanging out with Kara in general, but it wasn’t not a reason to invite Kara and her sworn enemy Roxy to the same tiny event, where there were only six people in attendance. Well, wasn’t a good reason unless you were being paid to fight with people on reality TV, which these chicks were. So yeah, I suppose, Joan’s actions made perfect sense when you think about it.
On the yacht, Kara proved herself to be Next Level at throwing shade when she presented Joan with a very pointed hostess gift. This gift took the form of a wine glass large enough to fit an entire bottle, which is something I definitely want for my next birthday! Instead of wine, however, Kara brought Perrier for Joan to put in her new oversized glass. Shots fired! Kara still hasn’t forgotten how Joan got drunk and took of her panties at last week’s dinner party, has she? Then again, I’m not sure I would forget that after only a week, either.
While everyone is now firmly anti-Kara, the ladies aren’t anti-couture. Kara will be hosting a couture trunk show at her home next week ostensibly to “raise money for charity,” but mostly as a contrivance to ensure the whole gang gets together again. Stayed tuned!