A car alarm was going off outside as eight of us, media from near and far, huddled tightly around a table in the cocktail bar-turned-publicity-junket at the historic Storys building on Duncan Street. Anxiously perched on sunken leather couches, publicists were maniacally checking their phones while gnawing on carrot sticks like they were the last thing they’d ever eat. A journalist complained that too many boozy, sleepless nights were causing him abdominal pain; a woman offered him Percoset. We were waiting for Scarlett Johansson, to ask her questions about her role as Barbara Sugarman in Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s hotly anticipated feature-length directorial debut, Don Jon.

The last time I saw Scarlett was ten years ago. She was 19 and I was 24. I was an intern for a film distribution company and Lost in Translation was one of our films at TIFF. I remember her as the ingenue who everyone wanted to meet. She was loud, hyper and enjoying the attention, as any nineteen-year-old would. Aside from the 1990s geek-girl cult classic Ghostworld, Lost in Translation was her big breakout role. She was Bill Murray’s naughty little muse. Not a bad way to arrive. I didn’t exchange words with Scarlett, I just spied on her from the Intercontinental Hotel hallway while I ate the leftover remains of Sofia Coppola’s Kobe beef burger. (That happened. I was hungry. My one and only taste of fame? It was juicy.)

The petulant Scarlett of 2003 was no more. The 29-year-old before me was confident, assured, beautiful and laidback. I admit, I was very nervous and my nervousness bothered me. Clammy hands, dry mouth; more than once, I looked down to see if my frantic heart could be detected through my polka-dot dress. Why can’t I be as cool and calm as Scarjo? Harumph.

She sat down beside me and I studied her carefully. Petite but not dainty, shapely but firm and with skin that was dewy but not perfect; they always look so perfect on screen. She’s not the impenetrable seductress that she so often plays; she’s a pretty young woman with doe-eyes, a husky voice and hearty laugh.

Don Jon tells the story of a dude in Jersey who leads an uncomplicated existence, or so he thinks. His life is a routine of lifting weights at the gym, visiting his family for dinner, hitting the club with his boys, nailing hot chicks and attending church on Sunday. And porn, he loves his porn. (You’ve never seen so many shots of crumpled Kleenex balls in a garbage bin.)

He meets Barbara. She’s curvy, sexy and knows what she wants. He calls her “a dime”. She teases him. They fall for each other, finally fuck and dream about the future. But then Barbara discovers his filthy habit. Uh-oh!

This flick is not one-dimensional like I’m making it sound. In fact, it’s a whole lot more complicated than that. Beyond the slick editing and hilarious comedy that ensues around the family dinner table (Heyo, TONY DANZA!) Don Jon asks big questions about intimacy and vulnerability. But still, I want to ask Scarlett about porn.

“I imagine that while making this film, you had a lot of conversations about porn: How it plays a role in relationships, how it affects couples…did you come to any conclusions?” I ask, pulse racing.

“Joe and I never really talked about porn.” Suddenly I feel like a total pervert.

“We talked more about relationships. Porn, it is what it is. I guess you can over-consume porn, like any other addiction. Everything in moderation!” Scarlett says with a smile. “I think there are healthy ways to enjoy pornography as couples or alone. I don’t judge! The larger conversation that we’re having is really about expectations in a relationship: How easily are we able to accept the differences in one another? How men and women objectify one another and how that applies to our intimate relationship.”

I wanted to ask more. Go deeper. Expand. But then someone jumped in with another question, “Did you like accessing your inner Jersey girl?” 

“Yeah, it was great. I love this character. She has a lot of conviction and she’s guilty of the habit that I’m guilty of, or many people are guilty of….the idea that you want your partner to fit in the box you’ve constructed! It’s easier that way! Why can’t you just reach the potential I see in you and be the person….be more like ME! I’m certainly guilty of that.” (Hmmm, with Ryan Reynolds? I wonder.)  “Recognizing the challenges of a relationship can help you grow into a more evolved person.” She is evolved. I look at the bracelet hanging on her wrist and wonder if she can ever just leave the house to buy milk. 

“But what do you think of women objectified in porn?” asks a woman with a thick French (Swedish?) accent. 

“It would be impossible to just make a generalization about a billion dollar industry. There are so many different types of pornography and ways that people consume it. I’m not an expert in the field, exactly.” She looks up with a mischievous grin, the crowd lets out a chuckle. “I have watched a lot of programs about women in pornography, not just women participating in the film but women in the business of pornography. There are a lot of very strong business women that are running studios for women. There are strong characters in that industry, strong actresses that are very independent and, in their own way, modern feminists. I would hate to generalize or put down the whole industry by saying that every woman in the porn industry is objectified.”

And then a journalist interjects and digs a bit deeper. “As a smart young woman, how do you handle that duality? Do you use it to your advantage?”

“Certainly you can use that to your advantage. I’m very fortunate to collaborate with cosmetics companies, clothing campaigns and have been photographed by the best photographers. I’ve definitely been able to use it to my advantage in some ways. In other ways it can be very frustrating. You can sometimes be placed in a stereotype that the media puts you in but in fact, a lot of the work I’ve done isn’t overtly sexual. Some parts are, some aren’t. You have to try, I guess, to not allow it to limit you or make you self-conscious about yourself in that way. You can push your own boundaries without feeling like it’s a reaction to that.

Scarlett is often cast as the temptress, be it an innocent maid in the 17th century in The Girl With the Pearl Earring or the boozy, straight-talking Nola Rice in Woody Allen’s Match Point. But that’s not what is interesting. What is interesting is her breadth of work. Since she made her first appearance at TIFF ten years ago, she has starred in 23 major films. 

She is as beloved by indie directors as she is by Marvel Comics. In the past decade, she has grown to become one of the few actresses in Hollywood who can successfully walk that tightrope. She lives her life with an “anticipate nothing” mantra. She credits every role with helping her push boundaries, explore her limitations and break through them. Learn from ScarJo.