After some fantastic feedback from an anonymous reader and a heart to heart with my best friend (non-mom) I’ve decided to make a list of suggestions for SMUG moms. At first I had no idea what a smug mom even was. How exactly does a smug mom behave? Are pregnant women smug? Was my mom smug? Is your mom smug? Not knowing the answer to these questions obviously means I must be the smuggest of them all.

smug
adj.   smug·ger, smug·gest
Exhibiting or feeling great or offensive satisfaction with oneself or with one’s situation; self-righteously complacent. Self-satisfied.

If you know a new mother whose exhibiting signs of self righteousness and smugness feel free to direct them to this short list of suggestions.

Do:
Call all your single friends to inquire about their lives, even if they never call you
Pretend that hooking up with a randomer at a bar is equally as important as you giving life
Make like having a baby is totally status quo, normal and uninteresting
Complain about how much life sucks
Talk about all the nasty bodily changes that have occurred due to the birth
Reminisce about the good ol’days before babies

Don’t:
Talk about your baby
Gloat about how life is perfect
Show-off your latest stroller, carrier or other baby gear
Remind your girlfriends that their time may be running out
Speak in clichés like, “It’s such an adventure giving birth”
Most importantly never make suggestions about how your friends and loved ones can support you post-partum.

Are we smug us moms? A while back two women posted this video (link here) to YouTube and it went viral. People loved it. The Globe and Mail even wrote an article about it. Granted it’s about smug pregnant women not moms but similar concepts apply.

I’m still on the fence as to whether or not it’s genuinely funny, but it did cause a stir and causing a stir is half the battle in YouTube land. It’s the first time I’ve seen comedians attack a sacred sect of our population—the pregnant woman. For that I commend them because in the world of comedy no one should be sparred.

I recall saying many of the things that Garfunkel and Oates make fun of in the video during both my pregnancies and also hearing them being said by other pregnant women. Does that make us smug? Probably. And that’s ok.  It’s our right. It’s the one time in a woman’s life that she can really bask in her womanness and people celebrate the changes in her body (versus judge the changes). It’s an empowering time for a woman so if she wants to say, ‘Hey check me out, I’m pregnant and loving life.” Or “I brought life into the world—cook me a casserole.” Well damn it — let her!
We all came from our mothers so look to yours and ask yourself does she deserve to be smug? If you like what you see when you look in the mirror the answer is probably yes.

PS: As promised and in the spirit of the season here’s my list of suggested gifts for the smug mom in your life.
– a massage
– some sweet pea baby food (ready to go organic baby food that saves the new mama time)
– a gift certificate for some wicked take-out
– their favourite cosmetics piece (lipstick, gloss, hand cream, etc)
– a weekend getaway to a spa or cottage
– a photography session (gift certificate from a local photog to come to her place and take some pics of the new family)
– homemade cookies (baked with love by you)
– if she doesn’t already have one — a baby carrier
– a rad and slightly oversized t-shirt or dress she can nurse in but also rock
– Make or find a bag that declares, “I’m not a smug twat”

Next week: the trials and tribulations of traveling with babies