In anticipation for That Awkward Moment, opening in theatres on January 31st, Shedoesthecity writers dare to share some of our most awkward moments.
From accidentally exposing our nether regions while cooking for strangers to first date texting disasters, here are some of our not-so-fine moments. (Sorry but we’re going anonymous; this ain’t the shit you want Googled by your future boss.)
Would you like some vagina with your chili?
I was cooking chili for a youth hostel and as I was serving a table full of strangers, they pointed out that not only was my fly down, but my entire vagina was on display. I had left the house with no underwear (I was 24 and hadn’t done laundry,) and my jeans were also missing a button. I never volunteered my services as kitchen help again.
Sorry that I’ve been calling you the wrong name for the past, um, FIVE YEARS!
On the very last day of high school—the VERY LAST DAY—a former science lab partner and frequent “hallway hello” friend told me I had been pronouncing her name wrong for four years. I had corrected other people on how to pronounce it, incorrectly! Horrifying.
That time I smoked leaves
My boyfriend and I came home from the bar one night. We were pretty straight-laced young people, but that night, we decided we wanted to try weed! It was too late to call any of the drug dealers we knew. Luckily, returning to my apartment, we found the front step littered with leaves. Dark green spiky leaves! My apartment was in a somewhat sketchy neighbourhood, so it seemed plausible (to us) that someone had smuggled in a marijuana plant and dropped some leaves on the front step. We gathered them in. A stoner friend told us that weed is better absorbed with a little fat if you’re going to eat it. Perfect! We had some crackers and butter. I microwaved the leaves. My boyfriend buttered the crackers. We ate them. We went to sleep. The next morning, we left my apartment. We looked up at the tree in front of the front step. The enormous, dark, spiky-leaved chestnut tree. And the dark, spiky green leaves gently dropping down onto the front step.
You never want to throw coffee on Burberry
I was feeling rich and famous (for an hour,) so decided to browse the Burberry rack at a fancy department store in London. My phone rang and while furiously trying to find it in my messy purse, I accidentally spilled half my coffee on a table decorated with Burberry cashmere sweaters. I quickly ran out and took cover at a neighbouring Primark, where I belong.
Worst first date text sent hastily to the wrong person
I was on a date and it was going really well. When he got up to go the bathroom, I took the opportunity to update the entire world on my seemingly successful date. I typed at a feverish pace and tucked my phone away. Soon after, he was back, but he had a strange look on his face. He looked at me and said, “I am flattered that you shaved your…area for me, but I have to be honest…I am a virgin and I am saving myself for marriage.” I didn’t know what truth bomb to process first. I was totally confused as to how he knew about the state of my vagina. He opened his phone and handed it to me. There was a text on his screen and it was from me. The text read, “Yeah, he is super cute….makes me happy that I decided to shave the girl today.” In my attempt to text my BFFs about the date, I had accidentally sent one of those texts to him. Let’s just say that when you are on a first date with a guy that has no intention of ever sleeping with you, and the topic of your vaginal grooming comes up – it’s time to call it a night and go home to enjoy your pristine lady bits alone.
Excuse me while I just sit in your car, stranger
My boyfriend and I were visiting my parents, and my dad said he would pick us up at the train station. I see what looks like my dad’s car pull into the parking lot and then proceed to walk over, get into the front seat, and buckle up. I then look up and see a man who isn’t my dad sitting in the driver’s seat looking very, very confused and chuckling while my boyfriend laughs hysterically from outside the vehicle. Realizing that I just gotten into a stranger’s car, I immediately apologized and got out of there as fast as I could. The car wasn’t even the same make or model as my dad’s — I don’t know what I was thinking! Needless to say, my boyfriend and dad had a good laugh about it on our way home.
Eager for Halloween but lost in translation
I was going to school in Montreal and had landed a job at the best costume store EVER. On the first day, they asked me in French to bring them the vacuum cleaner, or “aspirateur.” I returned with a devil costume and a big grin. That was the first and last day I worked there.
And we didn’t even touch on the plethora of messy, embarrassing sex stories that most definitely classify as seriously awkward moments! We’ll let Zac Efron (and his hot bod!) entertain you with those.
Hilarious, sexy and sweet, That Awkward Moment opens in theatres January 31st. Watch the trailer now!
Enter to win tickets to the Canadian premiere here!