In this diverse age, it is inevitable that we will face the awkward task of attending a traditional wedding ceremony for friends of beliefs different than our own. It is also inevitable that when that time comes, we will have no idea what the hell to do.

I was brought up in a Roman Catholic family, and I’ve attended my fair share of sacraments. This weekend, at the wedding of my good friend Sarah and her new husband Mike, I took a few simple notes to give you the low down on the general etiquette for a Roman Catholic marriage ceremony. 

You Prepare: Yes, sleeveless dress is absolutely fine. But keep the cleavage tame. Don’t wear black, or face maternal rage.

You Walk In: If you’re with the bride, sit to the left of the altar, if you’re with the groom, to the right. How close or far you sit is up to you.

You Sit: Prepare to sit more. These ceremonies run long time. (Usually an hour)

You Participate: About three quarters through the ceremony, the priest will ask everyone to exchange a sign of peace. This will be your only task. Turn to those next to you and shake their hands. Say to them “Peace” or “Peace be with you.” Do the same to those seated in front and behind you. 

You Don’t Participate: Don’t feel awkward about not participating in the prayers or hymns. It is likely everyone around you is doing so, but they have also had at least two decades of practice and could say them in their sleep (which most of them are doing).

You Anticipate Judgment From The Elderly: When your savior turns water into wine, getting loose at the reception is a no-brainer for all ages. Religious vibes are usually contained to the ceremony anyway, so you can throw your halo into the air with your confetti as your bride and groom make their grand exit. 

Most importantly, whatever it is you or your hosts do or don’t believe in, attend the ceremony to show support. A church blunder is a better gesture than skipping to the reception, and your hosts are surely aware you are unfamiliar if you know them well enough to get an invite. So enjoy the experience, and don’t try to sneak any wafer bread, because yes, the secret ingredient is cardboard.

~Vanessa Brazeau