This month I start my last year of university, which has me thinking back to my last year of high school. I finished high school in 2010 (I know, I’m very young. Probably too young to be this nostalgic, but what are you going to do?) amid a wave of optimism about the future and the amazing time that I would have in university. I imagined it would be a non-stop party filled with new friends, exciting lessons, and a newfound freedom. I’m still pretty much zero for three on that one, and uni has hardly been the joyride that I thought it would be; hell, I’ve spent most of my time as a student carefully perched on the edge of an anxiety attack. And the end of this chapter of my life has me remembering the end of the last chapter.

Grade 12 is supposed to be the school year where you buckle down in order to get into university. Looking back, I suppose that I must have done some work, but all I remember are the laughs; they were constant, and there always seemed to be something even funnier around the corner. And as I remember these laughs (though I mostly forget what we were laughing about—or more likely at), I remember the people I was sharing them with. I think, at least for girls, that the most important friends you will ever make in your life are the ones you make in high school. You meet them during your most formative years, and together you work out who you are supposed to be in the world.

Friendship is something that I took for granted all throughout secondary school, and when I got to university it was a shock to find myself alone (though it shouldn’t have been; sometimes I make Howard Hughes look like a social butterfly). I have basically been skulking around the U of T campus for three years by myself, running skittishly from those brave or crazy enough to ignore my death glares and talk to me. And though I still see my high school friends, I know that our relationships have altered; I know that the times we have together will never be the same and, on the eve of adulthood, I know that some of our friendships are coming to an end. I try not to let this get me down, though. As long as I can remember the good times that we had together, we will always be the kids laughing (obnoxiously) in the halls.