Dear Diary,

It has been one year, 8 months and 26 days since I had a real boyfriend. I had ended things with him because I wanted to go out and really “date”, because at that point I’d only had long term boyfriends. Since then I have probably kissed, fooled around with, or dated way over a dozen guys. Only a couple have lasted more than a month and really meant anything to me, but even with them, I wasn’t in love. Not since The Ex.

I’ve had fun being single. As you know, Diary, I’ve probably had more than my fair share of fun. But ever since being back from Portugal, I just haven’t been as into sex as I used to. Sure, I’ve had it, but my heart just wasn’t in it. What has happened to me? Where has the girl gone who had sex in alleyways and threesomes with Australians? Am I really ready to settle down? I know I’ve said it before, but a week later I’d be off banging some new cutie.

This past weekend I ended up at The Ossington with some friends, when I caught the glances of a hottie from across the room. I strolled over to chat him up, along with his gay drinking partner, who seemed to think I was the greatest thing since sliced bread. The straight one told me I was like a glass of milk, and that he wanted to “drink” me. At the time, it seemed like an adorable compliment, yet when the two future film stars (they worked together as extras) asked if I would come home with them, I politely refused. Finally I seem to have learned that going home with strange men isn’t the best idea.

I’ve also been chatting with a couple of guys through Plenty of Fish lately, but I’m just not feeling any cyber sparks. The only real sparks have actually been with The Ex. I know, I know, bad idea, but since September we’ve been chatting on msn every night, and it’s been making me remember how great he is. After we broke up he moved to New York for Grad School. He’s actually coming back home to visit twice this month, and we’ve made plans for each day he’s here, including going up to his cottage with friends.

The last time we had sex (which was actually after we broke up) was at his cottage, and I can’t help wondering if there will be a repeat. I also can’t help thinking about his very large…heart. Oh, and his large cock. Anyway, he’ll be home in a few days, so I’ll be sure to write again if anything goes down. Hopefully him… on me.