2.0 Has Stories To Tell
By Jen Houston

When the new 90210 debuted, I was disappointed with how little of the original “Beverly Hills” nostalgia made the cut, so I assumed that the reinvention of the 90s’ most gripping night-time soap would be nothing short of disaster. Well, it’s a disaster, all right, but at 4616, disaster is a good thing. Melrose Place 2.0 had me on the edge of my seat, gasping and giggling almost as much as the good old days when Kimberly framed Jane, stole Jo’s baby and blew up the building. Alumni Thomas Calabro and Laura Leighton, as sly foxes Michael Mancini and Sydney Andrews, have been given the prominent roles they deserve, with intriguing tidbits about the past 11 years unfolding effortlessly through the old chums’ dialogue (such as how Sydney survived being fatally hit with a car in 1997.) Though the original MP was action-packed, 2.0 delivers more of a ‘Law & Order’ murder mystery punch. Those who already know who the victim is will be happy to know that the events leading up to the death (which takes place in the communal pool, natch) will be played out in a series of flashbacks.

Despite some of the new cast members being so young their parents wouldn’t allow them to watch the original series, most seem to have gotten the point. Katie Cassidy as Ella Sims is a knockout. She evokes the sexy bitchiness of Locklear’s Amanda Woodward without coming off as a copycat, and truly brings depth to the tough-but-sensitive publicist. Cutie Michael Rady gets us interested in his character, goody-two-shoes Jonah Miller, right away. An aspiring filmmaker with a heart of gold, Miller could be the new Billy Campbell; that is if he becomes a major asshole after the good girl leaves him at the altar in second season. Since this is Melrose, it’s a pretty safe bet he’s in for trouble. His pretty/boring girlfriend Riley Richmond (played by Vancouver’s Jessica Lucas,) could be better, and we hope she’ll shape up soon. Her mediocre impact could be due to poor character development, so we’ll give Lucas a few weeks to pull us in before hitting the blogosphere to petition for a replacement.

Another BC native, Victoria’s Shaun Sipos is hot as David Breck, a concubine of Sydney’s and mysteriously, also the long-lost son of Michael Mancini. (The smarmy snake Mancini had a secret child all those years he was married to Jane, Kimberly, Sydney and Megan… why are we not surprised?) David’s bad-boy looks and humble chivalry awaken fluttery feelings that died years ago, when Jake Hanson married the not-nearly-good-enough-for-him Alison Parker. But will he end up a sinister playboy like his father? Sipos is perfect in this role, and we can’t wait to see Breck’s identity unfold.

Stephanie Jacobsen as medical intern Lauren Yung reeled us in with her ability, but it’s the risqué storyline written for her that sealed the deal. Lauren is a decent girl who will have to decide whether to walk the line or cross over to a darker side. Of course, a little trouble is what keeps any righteous character grounded, and it appears Yung is about to get knee-deep in it.

Though casting Ashlee Simpson was a successful media-grabber, her character Violet Foster is a pitifully dismissible wallflower. As a small-town girl new to L.A., Simpson is a stinker (I now regret defending her potential to critics for the past few months.) She is simply unbelievable in such a dowdy and naïve role. Fortunately, according to The CW network, Foster is covertly sharpening her claws, preparing to lash out and go ‘Kimberly Shaw’ on us any minute now. We hope Ashlee will sharpen her own claws and give producers a reason to keep her on that isn’t name recognition.

Simpson would be happy to know that her role as shrinking Violet is not the biggest miscast. Colin Egglesfield as Auggie Kirkpatrick is a butterface with zero personality and even less mystery (the very quality his character is based on.) Auggie is meant to be a “sensitive sous chef with a dark past,” but he comes off as an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a YAWN. The few scenes he’s given to look mysterious and brooding, he comes off as anti-social and unimportant. He’s not good-looking enough to survive on the heartthrob ticket, so Auggie better go ‘Mancini’ on us if he wants to develop a following. Hopefully his unravelling secrets will allow Egglesfield to develop Kirkpatrick, because right now he’s more one-dimensional than the green screen behind the set.

That’s right, there’s a green screen behind the set now, meaning that it actually changes from day to night in a visible sky, not just clever lighting techniques and limited camera angles. The spooky new 4616 Melrose Place (recreated to look eerily like/unlike the old one,) is noticeably more glamorous than its paint-chipped predecessor. The Spanish-style arched doors inside the units are now double-wide, paint immaculate and apartment sizes dwarfing the modest digs of the grunge-era 90s. Professional decorating has replaced Jake’s wall-leaning surfboard (never used,) Jo’s mantel photo of herself and Alison’s “One bad ad can ruin your whole day” piece of ‘art.’ The new tenants are stylish and at least somewhat well-off, comparable more with 1.0’s later affluent years than with its ‘simple twinkies’ debut.

We want Heather Locklear, and rumour has it she will be rejoining the cast at some point. Also, Josie Bissett is set to reprise her role as Jane Andrews-Mancini-Marchette-Hart… this could go on forever. Anyways, the ever-marrying Jane will be back, so hopefully we’ll see Michael get his ass handed to him for all the years of lying, cheating, swindling, trying to kill people – and that’s just the stuff we know about.

As his last series, Swingtown, was a bust, it would be great to see Grant Show reprise his role as Jake, even if it’s just as a been-around-the-block owner of Shooters who gives advice to the younger cast. We’ve given up on Marcia Cross, whose role on Desperate Housewives likely prohibits her from accepting the skimpy fee she’d have to agree to for a bit part.

Thankfully Lisa Rinna’s “HONK 4 LISA RINNA ON THE NEW MELROSE PLACE” sidewalk posterboard campaign was met with confused stares and jeers, because her addition to the original cast was the beginning of the end. Unless she pays CW to be included in 2.0, it’s not likely we’ll have to be distracted from the drama by those puckered lips again.