I made a gigantic oops while my boyfriend and I were having sex the other night – I caressed his man boobies. And I’m not talking giving them a little flick by accident, I’m talking full-out, dude tittie love.

We were in predictable ol’ missionary position and he was rubbing against my clit just so with his pelvis. My orgasm was definitely in sight and, what can I say, I got overexcited. I reached up to his chest, meaning to caress the whole surface area but somehow just narrowing in on his nipples and, after several seconds of tweaking, it happened – I cupped his pecs and pushed them together. I ACTUALLY PUSHED MY BOYFRIEND’S MAN BOOBIES TOGETHER.

He stops mid-thrust. “What are you doing?”
My hands freeze in place, cupping the culprits. “Nothing.”
“No, seriously, what are you doing with your hands?”
I slowly remove my hands from the crime scene. “Turning you on?”
“Well,” he says slowly, “unfortunately that doesn’t exactly do it for me.”

Now just to clarify, my boyfriend isn’t a 500 pound obese person, he’s a sturdily built, adorable, huggable teddy bear who, like majority of the male population, happens to have pecs that aren’t quite as toned as governor Arnold’s. He’s not self-conscious about this per se, however regardless of how confident he is with his body I think he’d prefer his chesticles NOT be fondled during sex. After all, that’s his job.

After we both got off (yes, he was still able to get both of us off after that, what a champ!) I decided we might need to discuss the transpired events.

“Do we need to talk about this?” I ask.
“Talk about what?”
“You know, what I did to you? To your very manly chest?”
“Oh, no we don’t need to talk about it.”
“Because you know I think your body is very sexy…”
“It’s ok, I know you do.”

And that was that. Until the next night when I called him to bed and he paraded out of our walk in closet wearing my hot pink bra with my skimpy underwear to match.

“I’m ready!!!!” He called in a high-pitched voice, “Lets make love!”

And that’s how I knew it was all water under the man boobie bridge.