by Lizzie McNeely
In a Nutshell: Blogger Heather Armstrong gives a close-up and uncensored view of pregnancy, childbirth and being a mom. Let’s just say, we’re not so sure that we want to join the ranks of the mommy brigade anymore. And if we do take the plunge, she’ll have every right to say “I TOLD YOU SO” in her characteristic all caps way.
Three Words to Describe It: Frank hormonal freak-outs
Indicative quote: “Having battled constipation my entire life, I fancy myself a veritable expert in the avoidance of hemorrhoids as I have fine-tuned the ability to push just enough and never too much. But I should have realized that the rules for hemorrhoids, just like the rules for everything else, dramatically changed for my pregnant body wherein the mere act of thinking about not pushing could produce an anal irritation the size of a small watermelon.”
Reason I Liked It: The raw honesty was much appreciated. I especially enjoyed anecdotes about the Ten and Two Peeing Procedure, nipple twiddling strategies for late births, and the horror of attempting to dress an infant in a nightgown. Who knew that we had so many things to learn before forging into the world of babies?
You’ll Like It If You Like: Miranda’s turn as a mom on Sex and The City, Armstrong’s blog Dooce, She Does The City’s MILF Report
Book Club Ideas: Screw book club. Go out and enjoy your unburdened, childless existence. Drink wine. See a movie. Wash your hair. Do all the things that, apparently, a mom has no time for. For those of you who are new moms, you likely don’t have time to read a book, let alone attend a club, so this segment’s not so much for you.
Verdict: My feelings on the book wavered between “this is HILARIOUS” to “this is plain IRRITATING especially the excessive use of CAPITAL LETTERS.” Bitching is fun, but it has a limit, and this book went over its limit.
Perfect Present For: Your friend who’s been debating as to whether she should have a kid or not. In a world where Angelina Jolie makes motherhood seem like a breeze, it’s important to be properly informed.