When you think of Hollywood hunks, Steve Buscemi probably isn’t the first name that comes to mind. With his stringy hair, crooked teeth, and small stature, he seems more blue collar than silver screen. And yet, somehow, I find myself with a gigantic inappropriate crush on him.
My love for Steve Buscemi first blossomed after watching him in Ghost Worldas Seymour, the lonely vintage record collector who puts out a personal ad and is tricked into waiting at a diner for hours for a date that will never appear. I was never quite sure if his character was supposed to be sympathetic or just pathetic, but I spent most of the movie pining over Steve Buscemi, as he played a guy with possibly the best musical taste in the world. Of course, there is so much more to Steve Buscemi’s acting career. He’s usually cast as the creepy guy and has been killed onscreen more times than I can count. Sometimes he’s a crazed yet sympathetic serial killer, like in Con Air. Sometimes he’s an asshole who would rather spend five minutes giving a speech about why he doesn’t tip at restaurants than just handing over a dollar or two, like inReservoir Dogs. And sometimes he’s a totally inept kidnapper who just wants an accomplice who has the decency to make some conversation while he does all the driving, like in Fargo. And of course I couldn’t talk about my love of Steve Buscemi without reminiscing about his role as the naïve but loveable Donny, the friendly bowling partner, in The Big Lebowski.
While Mr. Buscemi may be better known for his dramatic roles, I love him equally for his completely random comedic appearances. Who could forget him as the bitter drunken brother of the groom in The Wedding Singer? Every time I watch that movie and hear him sing, “I know this much is true,” it’s like he’s singing right to me. I love him even more as Lenny Wosniak, the private detective on 30 Rock who gets excited about things like “free ice” and likes to keep up with young folks on “tweeter and youtubes.”
Nowadays, Steve Buscemi is mostly known for his role on Boardwalk Empireas Nucky Thompson, the city official/prohibition gangster who doesn’t want to get his hands dirty. And even though Nucky is a bit of a schmuck, there’s still something sexy about him. Perhaps it’s the fact that he simply knows how to get shit done.
Of course, all of these men are fictional characters. So what do they tell us about the real Steve Buscemi? For one thing, he’s got a lot of range. Like any dream man, he’s serious and complex, but also light-hearted and humorous—or at least I imagine that’s what he’s like. At the very least, in every interview I’ve ever seen with him he comes off as friendly, witty, and self-effacing. And every girl knows that the hottest guys are the ones with a huge amount of talent but not a huge ego. Mr. Buscemi is definitely one of those guys.
There’s also another side to Steve Buscemi that not many people know about. Back in the early ’80s, he was a New York City firefighter. I can just picture him heroically saving lives and hauling around one of those huge water hoses as part of FDNY Engine 55. And as if that wasn’t enough, after 9/11 happened, he went back to his old firehouse and worked through the wreckage during 12-hour shifts. Steve Buscemi may have spent years putting out fires, but he certainly sparked a flame in me.
Finally, I have to address his looks. Steve’s appearance comes up over and over in interviews. Hell, the Coen brothers even wrote an entire bit about him being described as “funny looking” in Fargo. Yes, his teeth are crooked. Yes, he has a weak chin. And of course, there are those eyes. His eyes are so distinctive that they even inspired a website called Chicks with Steve Buscemeyes in which pictures of famous women are photoshopped with his eyes in place of theirs. Buggy, baggy, lopsided; call them what you will, but I am convinced there is something special about his eyes. They look weary, as if he’s seen too much sadness in his lifetime. I imagine that no matter how much sleep he gets, his eyes will always appear a bit puffy. Is he a crier? We may never know. But somehow, all of his strange features come together in such a way that to me he appears uniquely attractive. It is the imperfection that makes him perfect. And while Steve Buscemi may never be considered conventionally attractive, he’s got a beautiful personality and it has earned him a place in my heart.