Total independence? Amazing! Feeling good about it after a break up? Tough. When you find yourself suddenly single, things change. All at once you have to make your own ski weekend plans, buy a real guitar tuner and text your mom kisses goodnight. One fair day, you’re going to want to fill in the gaps. Enter the rebound- anything from a one-time romp to a pseudo boyfriend/girlfriend situation. Whatever the case and commitment, a rebound acts like a buffer to ease your transition from couplehood to singledom. But will the rebound you’re considering help or hurt? It may seem like fun and games but if left unexamined, it’s quite the blind leap. Never fear! There are things you can consider to ensure a rebound that is fun and satisfying for both parties. Before you pull the trigger, from my brain to yours, a how-to on rebounding like a pro.

1. Time Out
Whew, jetsetter, cool it. Allow yourself time to process your current status. Even if you’re not the type to fuss over a casual fling, you owe it to yourself to have some you-time. Not just to get back in touch with yourself, your goals, your feelings (which are all awesome things to do- do them) but also because you don’t know where things will go! Toronto Ryan Gosling could be in your bed right now! But wouldn’t it be nice to meet a sexy, sensitive stunner who appreciates women after you’re done your soul-searching? Hey girl, you’re a tough chick but even Rome wasn’t built in a day. Give yourself a time out and we can pick back up when you feel like it.

2. Pick Well
It’s a game changer. Choose wisely! Time for someone who is nice and won’t further complicate your life. Rebounding with a best friend, a coworker, an ex, the ex= bad news. Not saying it won’t ever work, but recognize that it’s a higher-risk situation. Now is the time to keep your friends close and keep your work environment as a place of productivity, positivity and escape. Don’t go complicating matters with a past ex or lower yourself by crawling back for less with your most recent one. Instead, do you and choose someone who is worthy of joining that party. You are the captain. Now go pick your A-team!

3. Manage Expectations
Put focus on what you can control- you. The reality is that a rebounder won’t necessarily know your ins and outs, your last name or feel like getting breakfast in the morning. After however long of being cherished as a girlfriend… ouch, right? All you can do is mentally prepare to experience something different than what you became accustomed to. Amazing if all goes swimmingly, but if they’re not your break up spirit guide, that’s okay too! You’ve still got this. Maybe they’re a catalyst like we learned about in 10th grade chemistry- just dropping by to shake shit up! Sometimes, we need that. So, ask yourself first, can you handle the shake?

4. R.E.S.P.E.C.T
Here’s to talking about you, your body, your standards, your morals. The whole package – respect it! If there’s pressure involved or you’re just feeling antsy to cement your single status, is this the best route to go? Cast the outside away- what do you want to do? If you think a rebound will offer you a needed (but temporary) distraction, make you feel good and want to high five your friends in the morning, maybe you’ve got a good thing going! But what would you, thrown back to your most secure and fabulous state, think about it? Follow that instinct. You are too glorious to settle and how you feel about yourself after the fact is too important to be compromised.

Life after a break up becomes a period of adjustment. You’re a newbie, a single lady reborn. Beyonce is proud. Maybe it’s time to flirt it up, but it’s also perfectly fine if you need a little more inner healing before you get your sexual healing. It will come. In the meantime, keep doing your thang! And when the suitors come knocking, feel free to judge on a case-by-case basis. You will know when you’re getting the goodness you deserve and I trust that you’ll take the steps when you are ready. This is no basketball game; this is life! Rebounding like a pro just means that you’ve done your due diligence. You’ve checked in and now you’re going in ahead of the game!

Follow Danielle on Twitter @DaFinestOne