How to do Disney World As a Grown-Up

When you think of planning a vacation as an adult-ish woman, you’re probably not thinking about Disney World. With Mickey and Minnie strolling around, the not-so-scary rides (creepy animatronics, notwithstanding) and all of the other cutesy stuff, you might assume that the Happiest Place On Earth isn’t a must-go-to destination past the age of twelve, right?

WRONG!

I just got back from a five-day trip to Disney World and lemme tell you: it’s hella fun as an adult. In fact, I would argue that it’s even more exciting as a grown-up since, unlike the time you visited when you were a toddler, you’ll actually remember it.

Here’s what you need to know to make the most of the magic during your trip, because going to Disney as a thirty-something is a dream your heart makes when you’re fast asleep (after passing out from lots of wine).

Stigma

This is a non-issue. Seriously. You might feel like Peter Pan for even wanting to go to Disney World, but most people (the cool ones, that is) will be jazzed, and even a little jealz, that you’re going to the mecca of Mickey. So once you decide to go, “Second star to the right and straight on ’til morning, yo!”

Lodging

I have a cool friend named Brandon who works at Four Seasons Hotels, so when we travelled, we were fortunate to stay at the Four Seasons Resort in Orlando at an employee discount, which was super swanky and sweet. If you don’t have a Brandon in your life, you should get one. Or, you should stay at a resort that doesn’t attract a lot of families. I know you like your sister’s kids, but let’s get serious: do you want to be around groups of screaming kids who are hopped up on the Disney smack? No. Four Seasons Orlando had an adult-only area, which was heavenly, and most importantly, QUIET. I hear Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort and Day Spa and the Bay Lake Tower at Disney’s Contemporary Resort are other choice alternatives.

Drinking and Eating

My friends and I had the best plan: we filled up at our hotel’s buffet breakfast until we basically couldn’t shove another croissant down our throats, and then we were pretty much good to go – and literally jam-packed with carbs – for the rest of the day. The snacks at Disney’s parks are pretty pricey and not so healthy, either. During an extra hot day, I grabbed a frozen banana, which was not only satisfying and nutritious, but also an excuse to quote Arrested Development all day (“There’s always money in the banana stand”).

And, yes, you most definitely should have a Character Breakfast. And, no, you are definitely not “too old” for that. You will be amazed how quickly you turn into mush at the sight of Mickey Mouse and how anxious you become when he doesn’t join your table fast enough. (“Um, Mickey…I’m right HERE!”) There are Character Dining venues across the park and resorts. The one at the Garden View Tea Room is pretty fancy.

For dinner, you should definitely check out Capa at the Four Seasons, one of the best tapa spots in Orlando, and also, Le Cellier, the Canadian restaurant at EPCOT. It’s apparently the BEST place to eat in Disney. It’s tucked away in a romantic cellar and serves up everything from cheese soup to s’mores – just like home (I guess?).

Speaking of EPCOT, the Drinking Around the World Showcase is also a must. From margaritas in Mexico to Champagne in France, it’s basically barhopping between countries without taking a plane. It’s the perfect solution to the sweltering Florida heat. (Okay, I know alcohol is a diuretic, but still, it’s fun.)

What To Do

Go to the parks! If you have to choose just one park, then I would suggest Magic Kingdom since it is the epitome of the Disney experience. If you’re able to spend time at more than one park, you can save money by purchasing the multiple-day pass. We went to Magic Kingdom for the nostalgia factor and EPCOT for, well, the booze. I HIGHLY recommend purchasing the FastPass. It lets you reserve a spot in line for popular attractions and events, so you can glide past the chumps who’ve been waiting 75 minutes for Space Mountain.

Also, Disney’s BoardWalk really comes alive at night for adults, and it’s an awesome “date night” spot. Big River Grille and Brewing Works is the only working brewpub on Disney property and serves up a large selection of beer, wine and cocktails. Jelly Rolls is a popular piano bar with duelling piano players, and is also a good time.

Of course you can also indulge yourself at the many spas available around the Disney resort area, including the Senses Disney Spa at the Grand Floridian.

See? There’s so much to do as an adult at Disney – who knew?!

Above all, unleash your inner child, buy a Disney t-shirt, and just have fun – because you will be asking, “When are we coming back?” as soon as you leave.