Last week I was supposed to role-play with my husband that we had just met. We were going to go to the movies on a ‘blind date’. I DON’T EVEN KNOW what would have happened had we accidentally bumped each other’s hands in the popcorn bag. Would I giggle? Would I lick his salty-buttery finger? Would we have ended up necking in the back row? It’s been so long since I’ve been on a blind date – to people neck? Is that a disgusting word?

I wish I knew what would have happened, but I didn’t do my homework this week. IT’S NOT MY FAULT SEX THERAPIST TEESHA MORGAN!! You see, there was this GIANT volcano in Iceland and no planes could fly – so Nick is stuck in Italy and the only way I can communicate with him is over this crazy thing called SKYPE where my computer dials his and I see his face in front of me and we chat. (MY GOD – imagine using that excuse back in grade six? Sooo good!) So sadly, we have not done the blind date thing. I haven’t been able to tell him about myself, make nervous funny jokes and brush my hand up against his leg in a mysterious way. However, I did make up my own homework assignment.

Since he’s been gone (sing it!) I’ve been very conscious about writing him a nice little note each day. Sometimes it’s sweet and simple – detailing my walk with the dog, other times it’s a concerned to see if he’s alright – and occasionally it’s totally dirty and badass. It could be a jokey hello on his Facebook Wall, a quick text or an accidental wake-up call over SKYPE at 5AM SKYPE to say "I love you." He looked cute, sleepy – and it was kind of neat to virtually be in his hotel room. We’ve never been a part for a long time – so it’s kind of exciting to connect with him and communicate in this long distance way. Skype can also provide a gateway to a titillating peep show 😉

I have not told him about my homework….’cause frankly, it doesn’t feel like homework, it just feels happy and good, however – my actions are returned with lovey-dove affirmations from him and it’s been a somewhat romantic time away from one another. What would REALLY be romantic would be to join him in Southern Italy for a sexy dinner date over sumptuous food – but maybe I’ll spin that and cook a lovely meal in high heels, apron – nothing else and some Pavarotti blaring upon his return. Maybe then – it will feel like we did Italy together. Do I get bonus points for being so creative with my K-Y Intimacy homework? If only I could have majored in this – I would have had a 4.0.