Ohhoooowhoooaooowhoooaoooohaaaaa. What I remember most from the last MMVA’s? Screaming. Loud, deafening, high-decibel shrieks of elated joy. And this year, I’m betting it’s going to be even louder. Why, you ask? The Canadian super-duo of home-grown pop culture crack that is…DREIBER!
That’s right, Drake and Bieber. Hip hop and crooning, Degrassi chops and Stratford mops…of fetching boy-bangs. Drizzy and Beebs will come together with Miley Cyrus, whose husky-voiced muppet face will whip the MMVA crowd into a frenzy in her capacity as hostess with the mostess. In the promo ads, she looks like a lost puppy who has trouble standing up straight. Possibly someone off-screen just brought up Perez’s alleged nudie photos. But we’re betting Ms. Miley will bring the goods for the live show. After all, no matter how much the internet and Midwestern moms want to exile her to Lohan Island, we’ll stand up for her like you do for the girl you used to babysit who’s getting bullied at camp. She’s just being Miley, guys.
Along with the Dreebz, get excited for a performance from Katy Perry. The California girl will bust out the sequined shorts and melt your popsicle.
As for the presenters, in the words of one reporter in the Sasquatch Festival Media Tent, watch out, it smells like Jersey Sex. Pauly D and Snooki will be visiting from the Shore, along with a bunch of people we don’t recognize, who boast faces of creepy mannequin-like perfection.
Needless to say, we’re pretty stoked. After all, the MMVAs are the only award show exciting enough to make Fergie pee her pants. Whether you’ll be shoving your way into the madness at Queen and John, or enjoying with a Bie-beer in hand at home, make sure to tune in and see what craziness will be unleashed this year. The MMVA’s air at 8 pm this Sunday, on (where else) Much Music.