Ahoy mate! Do you want to party on a boat? Of course you do! The sailor suits, the Dollarama decor, your yacht rock playlist and everything you need to know on how to party on a boat, without a boat! Instructions and photos of us in captain hats this way. Argh!

The squeak of boat shoes, the shiny white flash of blue and white striped boater shirts, it feels like the city is turning into the deck of one giant yacht. Add to that the tropical temperatures, and your yearning to take to the open seas might start to verge on intolerable. I FEEL LEFT OUT! For most of us, a yacht is not readily available. (For most of us, a dented dinghy is not readily available.) And so, we must make our yachting fun ourselves. How, you ask? Well, you could take a party cruise around the Toronto harbour. You could hit up The Boat (158 Augusta Ave.) for their Friday night Yacht Rock jam. Or you could take the helm? Oars? Jib…sheet? yourself and throw your very own yachting themed house party. Yes, your house may not be equipped with ocean breezes, stunning sunsets, and a school of dolphins frolicking below, but that shouldn’t stop you from getting decked out in your nautical finest and toasting the seven seas. Just watch out for eager revelers wanting to christen your living room wall with bottles of champagne-that stuff is sticky.

STEP 1: OBTAIN DISCOUNT SAIL WEAR
Your first stop? The Urban Outfitters Sale Section. Let’s admit it-if you could afford a fancy new yacht rock outfit, you’d be on a real yacht, amIright? UO will provide you with theme-appropriate wear like this Pins and Needles wrap dress and BDG striped shorts. Next stop? The good people at Joe Fresh, who are loving whites this season, which are perfect from port to starboard. This crochet sweater is $39. If you’re really hard up, try the apparel stores in Chinatown along Spadina, wear striped boaters go for $12. 

STEP 2: TURN YOUR HOUSE INTO A YACHT
You’re hitting up Dollarama (obvs.) You’re purchasing red, white and blue streamers and feather boas. You’re also pillaging the fake flowers section for anything that looks like seaweed. Don’t forget the CD rack, where for $2, the hits of Jimmy Buffet can be yours. And, of course, you’ll need a craft. Grab some terracotta pot holders, some blue aquarium stones, and one of those discount baskets of shells. VOILA! Centrepiece masterpiece! You could also throw some candles in these, but please remember fire safety first, even at sea. And, lastly, head to Chinatown (the gift that keeps on giving) for hilarious Duran Duran-inspired hologram pictures of frolicking seaside horses. 

STEP 3: CURATE A YACHT ROCK PLAYLIST
Here is ours, below, but feel free to take liberties. Remember, you’re the captain. 

1. Go Your Own Way-Fleetwood Mac
2. Signed, Sealed, Delivered-Stevie Wonder
3. Slow Hand-Pointer Sisters
4. Rich Girl-Hall and Oates
5. Rio-Duran Duran
6. Steal Away-Robbie Dupree
7. Kiss on my List-Hall and Oates
8. Walk Like An Egyptian-The Bangles
9. Lady-Kenny Rogers
10. The Touch-Stan Rogers
11. Part-Time Lover-Stevie Wonder
12. 99 Luftballoons-Nena
13. Sailing-Christopher Cross
14. Come On Eileen-Dexy’s Midnight Runners
15. Everywhere-Fleetwood Mac
16. Rosanna-Toto
17. Africa-Toto
18. Hold The Line-Toto
19. You Make My Dreams Come True-Hall and Oates
20. I’m On A Boat-The Lonely Island
21. Prince-Purple Rain
22. I’m Sailing Away-Styxx
23. Morning Train (Nine to Five)-Sheena Easton
24. This Is It-Kenny Loggins
25. Life in the Fast Lane-The Eagles

STEP 4: BOAT COCKTAIL
Mix up a Dark and Stormy, make pirate jokes, repeat. For those who aren’t partial to cocktails, pick up some Anchor Steam beer, available at your friendly LCBO, or some Lighthouse Chardonnay. 

~ Haley Cullingham 

Special thanks to the Friday Night Yacht team for contributing files. Yar.