We’ve all been there. You’re feeling a little sexy and you want to watch something titillating to keep that feeling going. You try to watch some porn and find that it’s all the same: horrible acting, women who appear to orgasm just by being touched and men who are reduced to little more than a disembodied penis. If you can make it through a scene, you’re left with a bad taste in your mouth even though you haven’t performed a single sex act. The sorry state of mainstream porn is partially what inspired the Pyjama Porn Party that took place last weekend at the Come As You Are co-operative.

I spoke to co-owner Sarah Forbes-Roberts who explained that that in keeping with Come As You Are’s dedication to only carrying the best products, she and her co-workers try to screen the porn that they carry to ensure that it meets their standards. Since mainstream porn is an industry run almost exclusively by rich white men, it can be hard to find diverse films. Even porn that includes people of colour is often racist, using slurs and reducing people of colour to fetishized objects. But as Sarah explains, feminist porn and the queer porn movement are working to change what viewers are exposed to. The Pyjama Porn Party was a chance for Come As You Are’s customers to gather and let the owners know what they want to see on the shelves.

And boy did we get involved! In addition to loudly voicing our opinions (heckling the films was easily the most amusing part of the night) each customer was given a placard with a giant X on one side and a heart on the other side. Everyone had their own Simon Cowell moment as we debated whether to ditch the film or keep watching in hopes that it might get better. Each customer was also able to anonymously submit their own suggestions for what they would like to see in porn. From the comments we gleaned that the assembled would like to see real couples, real orgasms and far more diversity in terms of body types and ethnicity of the performers. Other suggestions included porn that portrays active, ongoing consent, obvious use of condoms, more diverse sex acts (hello, kink!) and a bit of respect for production values—no one wants to watch a movie that looks like it was shot on an iPhone, you know?

My favourite aspect to the evening was gauging the audience reaction to what we watched. Most of us were genuinely perplexed at the first film, which featured a porn actress getting hit in the face with a pie on a busy sidewalk. We made jeers at the next film in which a male actor delivered his lines in a stiff, wooden manner  (pun intended) and had virtually no reaction to the actress working furiously to bring him to orgasm. We all got a little more quiet during scenes that were actually engaging and titillating but even then, we laughed at scenes that made obvious euphemisms with oysters and popping champagne bottles.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from a night of sitting in my PJs and watching porn with a bunch of strangers but it turned out to be a fun and lighthearted experience. More importantly, it allowed us to discuss the pros and cons of the porn industry in an open and welcoming environment. There were inspiring discussions around consent and after talking about what we want to see in porn, we realized that the possibilities of what could appear on screen are truly endless.

If you missed out on this event, don’t fret, Come As You Are is going to hold more of these pyjama porn parties in the future. Keep up with their events through their Facebook page or by signing up for their newsletter at their website, here.