Are we still talking about women’s sex drives? We have them. Sometimes, we even want it more than men.

I’ve had two girl friends chat me up recently about having an abnormally high sex drive. Abnormally high? That sounds a bit extreme. These aren’t inexperienced girls, just venturing forth in their sexual identities. They were also from completely different social circles and backgrounds. So what was the deal with this question popping up?

Both were feeling self-conscious about comments made by their partners regarding the amount of sex they wanted. Oh wait, that’s what they mean by abnormally high: that they wanted sex more than their male partners. Which, obviously, is abnormal.

Inevitably the partners had something to say about it, bringing about the shame that endlessly circles a woman’s sexuality. Apparently we haven’t progressed much farther than lie back and think of England when it comes to women wanting and initiating sex.

I know I’ve personally been affected by this charming phenomenon. An ex had a much lower sex drive than I, and took it upon himself to make me feel shitty. I guess I’m just a slut, right ladies? Initiating + liking sex = clear whore. You’re supposed to enjoy it while you’re having it, but you better not ask more often than he. If you do, something is wrong with you. Somehow, it always ends up back on you.

So if you’re wondering if your sex drive is abnormal, stop. The world is still working on accepting that sex is for women too, which means we’re all going to be casualties until we can get this thing right. And if some asshole makes you feel slutty because you want sex, kick him the fuck out of your bed. Excuse the cliché, but life’s too short for shame and bad sex.

By Meghan Roberts