Being Erica vs. The City

If you could do it all over again, what would you change? 

I might retract the time I buzzed off all my hair and declared to the world I was a lesbian, only to three days later nail my dentist’s son and have to denounce my sexual status. 

I would go back and ensure I was wearing underwear beneath my jeans, to avoid the catastrophe that took place when I was absent-mindedly making chili for street youth, and failed to notice that my pants had somehow unbuttoned and revealed everything to a circle of young boys, while I ignorantly stirred the sauce.

Most certainly I would erase the night that I got wasted, fell down, broke my tooth, got a black eye and then attended a bridal shower the next day…oh, did I mention it was mine? 

Thanks to the CBC Marketing Department, every time I jump on the subway I’m forced to remember my most embarrassing moments while gazing at the Being Erica ads. Recalling my past glitches evokes a mixture of self loathing and outbursts of laughter, but then I’m interrupted by the looming moon face of perfection. Staring down at me with airbrushed glowing skin, Whitney Port is just dying to brag about how perfect her new life is in The City. 

However, before she can dish about her Aussie fling, I will remind her about how she stole the name of her show from me. You see, at the MMVA’s last year, Whitney and I had a wee chat. Conversation went as follows: 

”I love your shoes.” 

”I love your shoes”

“What’s the name of your website again?” 

”Shedoesthecity.com”

“She does THE CITY! Great name.” 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway – back to wavering between feelings of nausea and hilarity west bound on Bloor; clearly I’m the target audience for both these new shows, so what will I tune into tonight? Whitney Port ‘on top of the world’ in THE CITY or desperate thirty-something Erica Strange, re-calculating life’s blunders in BEING ERICA?

From Bay to Christie I do a quick comparison:  

The City: typical MTV vacuous gloss about beautiful people vs. Being Erica: CBC’s near final attempt at providing cool, fresh and relevant programming for Canadians

Whitney Port: a self centred 23 year old living life large in NYC versus Erica: a 33 year old at her wits end desperately trying to find meaning in her life. I’m in the middle. HELP!

Whitney: works at DVF (Diane Von Furstenberg ) headquarters in the oh-so-overrated NYC meat packing district versus Erica: who gets canned from dismal customer service job at an Insurance Company.

Whitney: surrounded by NYC ‘socials,’ or society types, who judge every move; from one’s stylish way of hailing a cab to knowing the right techniques to manipulate men versus Erica: surrounded by typical North Toronto dysfunctional family; overbearing mother, annoyingly perfect anal retentive sister and substance abusing intellectual father.

I enjoy the humour written into Being Erica, and I enjoy making my own humour at the ludricous lack of humour in The City. 

Sorry CBC, but we prefer ogling the fashion on The City. 

One show plays to our fantasies, while the other our fears. But is the insular life of The Hills gang really what we want?  

Frankly, in order to appreciate the rooftop Moet, Whitney needs to step in more dog shit. And a reminder to those of you salivating over her NYC dream job, you better believe that a Whitney type would be spending half her day in the photocopy room, answering to a menacing boss who quips about her inability to make a strong coffee and lectures her on the intricacies of taking a proper message.  

As for poor Erica desperately seeking love on Lavalife…well, who isn’t? Half the readers of Shedoesthecity.com are likely dating online; it’s the norm. And the half that are in relationships are secretly wishing they were on Lavalife. So suck it up, Erica. 

As for the crap job? Well, yeah – for a girl with a masters degree, she’s obviously made some dumb choices – but so have we all. 

Which one is better? The one surrounded by shallow self-serving socialites who are unable to form an interesting sentence to save their lives? Or the one who’d be embarrassed to attend her high school reunion for fear of getting labeled as ‘amounted to nothing’. Judge for yourself tonight: 

Being Erica – CBC – 9PM
http://www.cbc.ca/beingerica

The City – MTV – 10PM 
http://www.mtv.ca/tvshows/the-city

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