Who else binge-watched Aziz Ansari’s new Netflix series Master of None? The most common pang seemed to be the episode about parents, particularly because it hones in on those moments of guilt that unfold when you’re just trying to get your mom to shush so that you can get back to reading taco reviews. I recently moved back home to save money; these sticky familial moments are what piece together my day.

According to the most recent Canadian census, 42.3% of young Canadians are living with their parents – as of 2011. I’m willing to bet that that number has only increased since then, as rent in downtown areas has soared and starting incomes have stagnated or been replaced by cheeky unpaid internships. You studied hard for three or four years, then returned home to the same place you grew up in. Now you’re trying to trick someone into giving you a real, professional, adult job. In the meantime, here are some tips for surviving with your parents.

Your parents are people too

Like roommates, your parents probably have standards and house rules. They might not like it if they find you licking peanut butter from the jar at 3am, wearing just your undies. (Sorry, Mom.) The conversation that follows will be an exercise in futility, a Who’s On First of accusations heaped on each other, followed by a full-on argument. To avoid a scenario like this, sit your parents down sometime during your first week back and have an honest discussion about what you expect from each other. If they want you to walk the dogs or help out with younger siblings – do it. If you want to abolish the concept of a curfew and come and go whenever you want – ask them. Most snarls can be prevented by having a conversation in which all parties feel like they are listened to and respected.

Get creative with sex

My name is Kennedy Ryan and I have sex in Mimico parking lots. I grew up downtown, so the whole concept of driving around in cars with boys and going to Scenic Makeout Points was lost on me until this summer, when I had to figure out how/where to have sex so that my family wouldn’t hear me. (*Shudder*) No amount of yoga can prepare you for backseat sex. In my current life situation, foreplay consists of a debate about which Zipcar we should book to do it in: BMW or Ford? American cars have more space for “activities.”

Be ready to defend your sleep patterns

Your parents will act like anthropologists when you return, their favourite subject being the sleep/wake patterns of The Canadian Young Adult. Be sure to build your case as to why sleep is natural and necessary, before you’re grilled at the dinner table.

Realize that your siblings are the same age that you were a couple years ago

Let this rock you to your core as you realize how valuable your own mistakes have become: you can prevent siblings from making the same shitty decisions that you did as a teenager. Don’t let that stop you from blowing your top when they borrow your clothes and/or makeup.

Do not, under any circumstances, use your parents’ coffee grinder for weed

They will find out.

Develop a project to work on while you send out a million resumes

Having a side hustle will go a long way towards soothing those anxious “Am I going to be a failure?” thoughts that circle around your brain like vultures while you’re trying to get to sleep.

Try out friend matchmaking services

Making new friends as an “adult” is hard. You no longer have the common gathering space of school to meet new people. You may not feel connected to your old friends in the same way anymore, and that’s okay! People grow up and adopt different sets of priorities and you don’t have to waste your emotional energy trying to reconcile old bonds. However, it’s 2015 and the Internet is full of potential new friends. If you feel comfortable going from commenting on someone else’s brunch pics to sliding into their DM’s – go ahead! For those of you who aren’t so bold, there’s a friend matchmaking service that launched right here in Toronto and matches users based on pop culture preferences and a host of other qualities that founder Amy Wood deems relevant to making the best possible pairing.

Moving back home is tough, and it’s probably not what you expected would happen after you got your degree. Funnel your rage by glaring at Baby Boomers as they walk out of Eddie Bauer and Brooks Brothers. When you really feel like snapping, read and reread the Lizzie Borden Wikipedia page and be honest with yourself: is jail time really worth it?