I have decided that I am going to bring down the Conservatives with cardboard boxes and yarn.
Stephen Harper – that guy is a whole lotta scary. His policy decisions suggest to me that he cares more about the feral cats of Parliament Hill than about science, Aboriginal Peoples, humpback whales, the melting of the Arctic icecap, or the world of his future grandchildren. So long as he can get oil from point A to point B, the man is happy.
I don’t use Twitter or Instagram, so I guess I’ll have to use cardboard to share my message with the world. Here’s how to go about making your own eco-friendly cardboard anti-Harper signs:
Step 1: Hound the shelf stockers at your grocery store for flattened boxes.
Step 2: Write catchy slogans on them with markers. (Mine is “Vote for the earth. Stop climate change. Stop Harper.”) It’s okay if you are no Peggy Olson when it comes to writing copy or if you draw a picture of the earth that looks more like a lopsided egg. People will think children made it, and do-gooder children are irresistible. Best-case scenario: Your neighbours cry because it is so endearing.
Step 3: Give a cardboard sign to your mom who will be compelled to hang it because you are her daughter. Tell her about your plan to approach families to make the signs with you in the parks of ridings where Conservatives may actually win a seat.
“I’ll just wander over to them, ask if their kids would like to hear some stories about the earth, read them a few and then ask if they want to make a sign with me.”
“Lizzie, they are going to think you are crazy.”
That may be, and I admit I’m a little nervous about weirding out protective parents with my plans to politicize their children. But you know what’s more crazy? Miami Beach may disappear in this century and about 18 million people will be displaced from Bangladesh due to flooding by 2050. When that happens, I will be 67, my daughter will be 37, and maybe I’ll have a couple of wee grandchildren.
Wouldn’t it be infinitely more crazy for me to just sit back and do nothing?