Dear Xtina,
The other day I went to facebook to check my inbox and realized that I was
logged into my boyfriends account, as he had been on the computer earlier. I
know I shouldn’t be sneaking around his inbox but I saw three notes from
this chick Emily who he works with, and since she’s twenty-one and really
hot, I couldn’t help but investigate. There was no specific communication
that insinuated an affair but both of them were being overly flirtatious
discussing their sexual preferences. Apparently she likes to be choked and
he enjoys white ankle socks. I am now livid and steaming with rage and
unsure of how to approach this. We’ve been dating for six months, he just
moved in and everything seems dandy but this has thrown a wrench in things
and I’m unsure of how to firstly bring it up that I was rummaging through
his personal stuff and secondly if I should continue the relationship and /
or boot him out.

ERRR. HELP!

—————–

I can’t say that I’ve never heard this one before. Even before the days of
the internet – before the social networking sites and hotmail accounts –
there were diaries to be read and letters to be opened. I know, it’s right
there, just begging to be opened, but if you’re going to be in a
relationship, you have got to practice some self-control!

You, my friend, have crossed a line that is one of the most important parts
of being in a couple: you’ve invaded his privacy and if you tell him what
you found, you are also doomed to lose his trust. You may have a reason to
be angry, but so does he.

Before you do anything else stupid, calm down and take a moment to reflect.
Is anything missing from your relationship? What reason would he have to
seek female attention elsewhere? Six months is still relatively early in the
dating game, but you need not wait until there’s a problem. Now is the
perfect time to check in with him on how he feels about you, your
relationship, and your current living status. If everything really was going
so well, you should not have had the urge to snoop in the first place so
take this chance to offer up some thoughts and concerns of your own to open
those lines of communication.

If your man insists everything’s just fine with him, but you’re still not
quite convinced, throw on some white ankle socks to surprise him! See if
he’s pleasantly surprised or if he looks a little guilty.

Xtina