Okay. So. Poo-pourri. A real product, offering a real service, the former being a scented spray, and the latter “covering up the smell of your poop so completely that no one would ever know you did it.” This is their commercial:

Apparently this product has existed for years, but only really got going, buzz-wise earlier last autumn, when they made whatever it was that we all just watched. Well, I don’t know how I missed it then but I CERTAINLY did not miss it when it came up ahead of a Taylor Swift video I was trying to watch on Youtube (whatever) just yesterday. I watched the whole thing quietly stunned and then watched it again to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

You guys, I don’t know how to feel. On the one hand, “Girls don’t poop” is a horrible slogan, especially when you consider that product use is predicated on all people pooping freely and often. Plus it makes it seem like this product exists for women alone—another in a long line of things we can buy to stop the disgusting realities of our lives and bodies (wrinkling skin, cellulite, body hair, how we smell) from impinging on the offended eyes (or in this case, noses) of menfolk who must NEVER KNOW our disgusting truths. Whatever to that. Anyone who had coed bathrooms in university will back me up on this: men are just as gross if not grosser than women, bathroom-wise. We don’t have to hide anything from them.

On the other hand, the idea of sparing your co-workers, friends, and loved ones of any gender from the after-effects of a night of food poisoning or a one-two stress/coffee punch to the colon is appealing. Not on a “girls don’t poop” level, but on a more basic “why would I force you to smell a bad smell if that smell can be avoided, surely that’s nicer for all of us” level. Plus it comes in a variety of themed scents, from the “masculine” “Trap-A-Crap” (“a spicy blend of blood orange”) to floral “S*ittin Pretty” (rose, jasmine, and citrus) to holiday-themed “Santa Poo” (a mix of evergreen, citrus, and holly).

Apparently all it takes to trap bathroom odours below the surface of the toilet bowl is a special blend of essential oils. So what do we think? Patronizing and weird attempt to sanitize one of life’s most basic, universal bodily processes or life saver after burrito-day in your unisex office bathroom?