Diva, Lunette, Miacup. No, these are not the members of Girlicious. These are menstrual cups: marketers have – apparently – universally determined that the branding of such hygiene products should evoke a strange collision between folky Lilith Fair feminism and in your face Bratz culture. Clever. In balancing diametrically opposed concepts they follow in a well-heeled line of iconic fashion statements: YSL’s feminine yet fierce tuxedo suit, Calvin Klein’s androgynous yet sexy heroin chic, Gap’s season of West Side Story battles between khakis and jeans. You heard it here first, SDTC readers. Fall ’08 will be the season of the menstrual cup: sassy, yet cyclically aligned with the goddess of the moon.

There are so many fun things that you can do with your menstrual cup, and we like fun fashion (see Rogue Vogue archives on Reebok’s The Pump Shoe, Hypercolor t-shirts and glow sticks). You can document your daily flow using the measuring lines handily provided. Make a pie graph (pardon the pun) afterwards. Compare with your friends. Mirror, mirror on the wall who shed the biggest uterine lining of them all? Create an abstract painting using the collected drippings of a heavy day. Incorporate an image of the Virgin Mary, hang it at the Brooklyn Museum of Art and watch Rudy Giuliani cringe.

Remember, slipping into something comfortable is so soft porn of 1967. The current pre-coital dialogue of choice is: just one moment darling, let me go slip out my Diva. Trust me. It’s infinitely more seductive and mysterious than, just gotta pop out my tampon.

Furthermore, that pungent scent which you thought was your period in pre-cup days, was actually the scent of damp cotton. The only unattractive hazard of the cup is that it may require two flushes to successfully remove menstrual evidence from the toilet bowl. Not recommended for hookups in small bachelor apartments, unless occupied by a scatological fetishist, in which case flush away and let your partner’s imagination run amok.

When your menstrual cup is not in use, your teddy bear will appreciate it as a novel chapeau. Were you somehow to become miniature, say Thumbelina size, via a Honey I Shrunk the Kids-like mad scientist, keep in mind that this would be a most appropriate statement hat to wear to the Ascot Races. Give Kate Middleton a run for her money.