I often find myself backed into a corner at a TIFF party, talking to some jackass about something really stupid, like his pool in LA. But truthfully, that’s almost better than the countless conversations that don’t even go anywhere. In a crowded room, with people desperately clawing for another vodka, and a tizzy of excitement over what celebrity just went to the washroom (Wait, WHAT??!), most chit-chat goes like this:

“HI…OMG….how are you???!!” She says screaming while spilling wine on my leg.
“Good, how are you???”
“What??”
“HOW ARE YOU??!” 
“Did you change your hair colour? I LOVE IT!”
“No.”
“WHAT??”
“Yeah, a while ago. I guess.”
“OMG, where are your shoes from? Are they Miu Miu?”
“Aldo.”
“WHAT? Brian Atwood?”
“No.”
“Hold on a sec babe.” She is now looking for an escape and waving at a man across the room. “BILLY!” She shrieks. After a few minutes of frantic waving, she turns back to me,
“You know Billy Janke, yeah?”
“No.”
“OMG, you gotta meet. He’s a producer at ICAN’THEARYOU. BILLY. B-I-L-L-Y, come say hiiii.” Billy doesn’t come but just winks. She then turns to me.
“Billy is always busy. So great to see you lady! I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow….like TEN TIMES! HA!” 
“K, bye.”
Kiss-Kiss.Mwah-Mwah.

That, my folks, is what makes up 90% of TIFF parties. I know, you are so jealous. This type of conversation is infuriating to me. So much so that I decided to call an expert and ask for help, so I rang Natasha Koifman, founder of boutique PR firm NKPR, to give me tips on shmoozing and then some.

Icebreakers
When initiating conversation, try to go for open ended questions that don’t end with yes, no or huh? It is a film festival, after all, so asking about films is a starting point.”Have you had a chance to see any films? What was your favourite?” Koifman recommends. It seems like a no-brainer but it’s amazing how flustered one can get amidst a hectic scene.

“Ask them how their day was and if they are from out of town, what have they done in the city so far? Where have they gone to eat?” She stresses that the most important thing is to be “authentic and sincere.” If you are really keen to chat with someone, I have found that asking them exactly what they did that day will ensure the convo lasts for at least 3 minutes. Hey, sometimes what someone eats for breakfast is totally revealing of their character. 

Jen’s Tip: If all else fails, throw in a real weird one like, “So, do you believe in ghosts?” My recommendation, not hers. You may get a raised eyebrow but at least it will differentiate you from all the go nowhere shoe talk.

Excuse yourself
This is important as you want to be able to flow around the room and not get stuck with the most boring person for half the night. Koifman’s go-to for any situation is, “”Great to see you, I hope to see you at the next event.”  It’s polite, to the point and you are actually doing everyone a favour by ending things before it gets awkward. Unless, that is, you happen to be conversing with the drunkest dude in the room who just doesn’t get it. 
Jen’s Tip: Pretend your friend from London is calling?

Don’t get wasted!
“When people are in a setting where they are uncomfortable there is a natural inclination to become something that you aren’t in order to protect yourself.” Says Koifman. Cue the endless open bar! However, she points out, getting wasted to brave the night is “just not cool.” What else isn’t cool? “Going up to celebrity, at a private event, and asking to get your picture taken. They are regular people, not fish in a fishbowl. Be respectful!” Reserve the flashing lights for the red carpet at Roy Thomson Hall.

Guestlist wars 
Do not play the asshole card and insist that you are on the guest list, when you are, in fact, not at all. Koifman’s mantra is always “Treat everybody the way you want to be treated.” If there is a glitch, you are much better off being kind than a giant prick.
Jen’s Tip: If you really need to sneak in, pretend you are with the catering team. A sneaky trick that sometimes works. Just remember though, caterers don’t wear silver beaded gowns.

Dress non-code
The cool thing about TIFF is that there really isn’t any dress code. Asking Koifman what her best bet is for an outfit that takes you from day to night, she admittedly refers to NKPR client, RW&CO. “Here’s the thing, it’s a client of ours but the dark navy tunic from RW&Co is amazing. Do the tunic during the day, with tights and flats and at night put on a leather jacket and a really high Louboutin, all of a sudden that look totally changes.The key is if you feel good, you’ll look good in it.” And don’t worry if those Louboutins are really off the Winner’s sales rack.

Be willing to let the night take you in a different direction
Things may not have worked out how you planned but truthfully, the best times during TIFF are when things go awry. With over forty venues open until 4AM, and celebs constantly yearning to eject themselves from a rigid schedule, the possibilities are endless. Koifman reminds us that you don’t have to be on a guest list to experience TIFF nightlife, “Toronto turns into NYC during festival. There are so many great venues, people should just go out, you are likely to see celebrities…and at the very least you will experience the buzz. That’s what is amazing about TIFF!”

Have fun and let us know what shenanigans you get up to. If you want them to happen, they will.

~ Jen McNeely