Remember 50 First Dates—the classic rom-com starring Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler? Well, if that film were to be based on a true story, it would to an extent mirror what Nesh Pillay experienced when she suddenly lost her memory in 2022. Upon waking up from a nap, she forgot about her fiancé, Johannes “JJ” Jakope, and her daughter, Zenaid. In 50,000 First Dates: A True Story — a two-part docuseries out now on Prime Video— Pillay details her journey with memory loss, going viral on TikTok, and her quest for answers to prove that her condition was real. 

In a conversation with SheDoesTheCity, the Toronto-based entrepreneur and influencer was quick to note that despite enjoying romance movies like 50 First Dates, these films can further misconceptions about relationships impacted by memory impairment. Although the couples we see on screen are easily able to overcome conflict, in real life it can be tough for both the caregiver and the person dealing with a traumatic brain injury to find common ground. 

“Those sorts of relationships need constant care, constant work,” she says. 

Pillay and Jakope had a lot to overcome after she had no recollection of who he was, or how they met on Tinder. For a while, her brain would reset, and she would often mistake him for an Uber driver, always questioning why he was caring for her. In spite of not remembering what made her fall for him, her brain would still send signals that he was someone she could trust. 

“That feeling of safety, knowing he was a consistent presence, that sort of remained through my memory loss,” she says. 

Similarly to the sense of comfort she felt by Jakope’s side, Pillay’s maternal instincts often kicked in, even though she didn’t remember her daughter’s name or age. In fact, Pillay shares that navigating this turbulent portion of her life was even harder when it came to parenting. 

“I am left with a ton of guilt for my daughter having to witness that,” she says. “As a mother, my one job in this world is to protect my child, and I can’t protect her from the ugly part of my brain and my brain injuries.” 

Although this is an ongoing challenge, Pillay did reveal that therapy, open discussions,  and setting aside time to connect with her child have helped her— even if she has to rest for a few hours before sitting down to play a 30-minute game. 

On top of losing her memory and trying to reconnect with loved ones, Pillay shares in her docuseries that it was hard to receive proper care from doctors, given how complex her situation was. It was only after meeting University of Toronto neuroscientist Morgan Barense and undergoing a thorough brain examination that she could finally understand what caused all of her symptoms and affirm her diagnosis.

“With Morgan, I described what other people thought was inconsistent or bizarre and she was able to tell me, ‘Oh, no, this is actually very common with people who are memory impaired.’” Pillay adds: “This information I carry with me everywhere. I will tell anyone who will listen what I’ve learned, because I want other people to feel that confidence as well.”

Despite the highs and lows, Pillay is grateful for the opportunity to share her experience with people who might be in a similar position. As someone who worked in communications and owned a business for many years, she’s been able to use her public speaking skills to connect with followers on social media. Videos of her forgetting family members and struggling with TBI symptoms have gone viral on TikTok, making headlines around the world, and leading to an onslaught of comments from viewers convinced she was faking her condition.

“When I first told my story on TikTok, I was not doing it for the likes. I was doing it to let my family and my friends know why I had been MIA, because I couldn’t remember all of them,” Pillay explains.

Even so, her content creation was in many ways a callback to earlier parts of her career, where storytelling was at the forefront. “All of my work in marketing and communications has allowed me to tell my story in a way that works, but also in a way that’s more authentic.”

In her docuseries, Pillay also gives viewers an update on how her life is now. Since losing her memory — which she now understands was a result of multiple brain injuries she experienced growing up — Pillay and Jakope have seen their family expand, with the birth of their son. The couple have also decided to postpone their wedding planning and opted for a commitment ceremony instead. During a trip to Austria to visit Jakope’s family, they exchanged vows next to a heart-shaped field, a scene that feels stripped from a rom-com. 

When asked about whether or not the couple are still hoping for a wedding celebration, Pillay gushingly says that the future remains to be seen. “All of my decisions are really dictated by my brain and now two kids, so we’ll see. You’ll have to stay tuned.”

50,000 First Dates: A True Story is available to stream on Prime Video.