This week, the blood feud between Kara and Roxy reached even more epic proportions. Kara both stole a theme Roxy was saving for her birthday party and hosted a dinner party with said theme on Roxy’s actual birthday. This led to some Cold War-level tensions between Roxy and Kara, so obviously the episode was a delight to watch!

The show picked up shortly after Joan’s dock party. The Housewives were idling around playing water sports. This proved very stressful for Roxy, who didn’t want to ruin her blowout. She asked the cameras, “Do you know how hard it is to get a blowout in Muskoka?” Apparently, it’s very hard. In fact, this task proved so Herculean that Roxy had to fly someone in to do her hair! Roxy was so convinced no stylist in all of Muskoka was qualified enough to use a hairdryer on her that she transported one from Toronto, via air travel. Rich people – they’re not just like us!

Happily, this episode also provided an opportunity for us to see Ann in what she describes as her “couture fishing hooker” outfit when she and Kara went on a fishing expedition. Kara was taken aback by the scantily clad look, and in turn, Ann was offended by her new “friend’s” prudish attitude. This begs the question, if these women have such irreconcilable worldviews, why do they keep hanging out? Oh, never mind! Common sense doesn’t apply in this parallel universe version of Toronto.

Kara also received the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with Joan on this week’s episode. Joan needed someone to teach her how to use the library so she could research the history of the island she and her husband purchased. I am not making this up. By contrast, I spend my time researching how to get stains out of a $10 tank top. This show has an uncanny ability to make me feel poor.

The events of Episode 4 reached their inevitable climax when the six women convened for the Ravello-themed dinner party Kara planned on Roxy’s birthday, but not for Roxy’s birthday. Apparently, at one point, Kara had promised to throw Roxy a birthday bash, but rescinded the offer when they got into their famous fight over “The Face Hickey.” If you do not remember “The Face Hickey,” please rewatch episodes 1 and 2. It is an important part of Real Housewives of Toronto history, and it would be impossible to fill you in on the nuance and complexity of this situation in the space of a single recap. You must see it for yourselves, Dear Viewers.

The girls were hoping Kara’s party would end up being a secret surprise birthday celebration for Roxy, but this was not to be. Kara claimed she had no idea it even was Roxy’s birthday, because apparently the “Birthday App” on her phone was malfunctioning. Roxy, however, was convinced this was an underhanded lie.

For her part, Kara attempted to make amends by pulling Roxy aside and apologizing for having yelled at her in the dog park back in Episode 2. Roxy claimed to accept the apology in the moment, but later on told the cameras she was skeptical about whether Kara’s “actions” toward her would improve.

As the dinner party progressed, the passive-aggressive tension mounted. No one said anything particularly offensive with her mouth, but oh man, did the housewives throw shade with their eyes! It all got tense because, while Kara thinks it’s okay to enjoy wine with dinner, she disapproves of people getting drunk and sloppy at a dinner party. When Joan started slurring her words after a few too many, Kara looked as annoyed as I do when my favourite podcast takes a week off from recording. So yeah, she was pretty angry.

What really grinded Kara’s gears, however, was when the ladies declared they wanted to go skinny dipping off her dock. Kara felt this would be inappropriate, as her young sons were present. In my opinion, Kara had a valid concern. After all, I know many people who disapprove of strangers being naked in front of children. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s basically the definition of flashing, which is a crime. However, the show has already decided Kara’s its villain, so I’m pretty sure I was not supposed to be on her side.

Eventually, after a fireworks display that rivalled a mid-sized municipality’s Canada Day celebration, the uncomfortable dinner party concluded. It seemed like everything was now back to normal, but nothing is ever what it seems on The Real Housewives of Toronto. The next morning at brunch, it was revealed Joan had randomly taken her panties off at Kara’s house. Why did she do this? It’s never explained, but my guess would be Joan selflessly sacrificed her underwear in order to propel the plot forward in the coming weeks.

And propel the plot forward Joan did! In a very low-concept revenge plot, Kara decided to take her hungover “friends” for some wakeboarding on the water. She hoped a bumpy ride would make them all vomit, but it resulted in a minor accident instead. When the women were thrown into the lake in their bikinis, it was Kara herself who apparently ended up breaking a rib. No one threw up though.

Stay tuned for next week, when Ann is going to throw Roxy a belated birthday party. For some reason, Kara is invited even though she and Roxy are nemeses. So you know there’ll be all kinds of dramz!