Before I entered the working world, there was a magical feeling that made my heart warm like French pancakes. I was excited for something new to start – a new opportunity with endless possibilities and sophisticated people. I felt excited over dorky things like business cards, leather bound agendas and ball point pens. I was over the moon with confidence. Curious and innocent like a skittish cat about to be violently run over by a pickup truck on the highway. In reality, first careers are scary.

I’m writing this for women who are finishing school and starting their first job, because I really wish someone told me these things when I fell into mine:

1. CAREERS ARE LIKE WINE: THEY ONLY GET BETTER WITH TIME

The truth is that the first few weeks of work are actually pretty boring. You don’t know anybody’s name. There’s not a whole lot you can do because you’re new and can’t be trusted with anything. You’re like a toddler running around in a blazer. Everyone will refer to you as “the new person” until another new person comes along and suddenly you become the “old-new person.”

2. VACATION TIME IS THE ONLY THING WORTH LIVING FOR

This is very important for career survival. It’s the only thing keeping you and your colleagues alive, so do yourself a favour and plan CAREFULLY. Because it’s your first time in a career, you’re likely going to have two weeks paid vacation tops. For the rest of your life, everything will revolve around planning and coordinating vacation time with friends. And that’s all you’ll talk about for months. Then your friend will bail last minute and you’ll end up on a “staycation” watching Law & Order: SVU alone on your couch.

3. EVERYONE IS WHISPERING (VERY LOUDLY) ABOUT SALARY

This is the equivalent to penis size in the career world. Everyone is whispering (screaming), “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your salary?” This will happen to you more often than you think, so smile and tell them, because you’ll probably be curious about their salary. Over time, you’ll figure out that there’s not a universal salary pyramid and your pals working in finance or engineering are easily going to make $100,000 more than you. You can imagine how embarrassed I was when my friend proudly announced that her other friend makes $65,000 and she’s only 22. Whatever, that’s okay, because fun jobs always pay less! (At least that’s what I like to tell myself.) Either way, every company and industry is different. Over time you’ll learn how to say the adult response: “Sure, I make a trillion dollars every year. Fuck you, I’m creative!”

4. YOUR BOSS WILL NEVER BE YOUR BEST FRIEND & THAT WILL HURT YOU INSIDE

This is a tough relationship that will vary depending on the workplace. But in most instances, you’ll feel very passionately about hating and loving your boss at the same time. Most bosses have redeeming qualities that remind you that they’re human beings too. Some don’t, because they’re evil psychopaths dressed in human costumes. But others do and it’s important to remember that bosses can’t be your friend. Deep down, you’ll secretly want them to be your BFF but it will never happen. Give up the dream. That’s just how it is.

5. BE PREPARED TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF

Because it’s your first job in the real world, there’s a 100% chance you’re going to say something stupid, ask a question that’s already been answered, or do something completely wrong. I called my Account Manager the wrong name and emailed “top-secret” PR information to the wrong client with the same first name. I messed up lunch orders, grabbed the wrong coffee and forwarded email threads I probably shouldn’t have. Yup, you’ll definitely feel pretty stupid after. But don’t worry. As you get older, people will give you less of a hard time because everyone makes mistakes and you have to fuck up a few times to learn. But when you’re young and it’s your first career, you’ll be really hard on yourself and you’ll wonder if this is the right career. It is, don’t sweat it. It was a bad day – now move on and pretend like it didn’t happen. One day someone else will pick up your lunch for you and you’ll be like, “Omg, I must be in the right career.”

6. THAT MOMENT YOU FIND YOUR WORK BFF WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING

Remember that magic I was talking about? Well one day, the magic will return when you discover a best friend at work. It usually happens when you’re drinking Americanos and bitching about work together. While you’re laughing about the staff summer party and the new blazer you bought, suddenly you’ll think, “Wow, I think I could actually hang out with this person OUTSIDE of work!” When this moment happens, everything at work becomes magical again. Best friends will be the guiding light. Sometimes you’ll show up to work and they’ll be wearing the same thing, and you’ll say stuff like, “Twinning!” and it will make your heart melt like a tuna sandwich.

7. YOU’LL PROBABLY CRY IN A STAIRCASE A FEW TIMES

Sometimes, you’ll feel defeated and helpless. That’s why it’s important to find the nearest staircase when you first start your job. This will be your crying sanctuary. Strangers will stare at you, but after a while you won’t care because you’re dealing with a lot of stuff and crying is the only thing that feels good when you’re overcoming obstacles (aka assholes) in your first career. If there’s one thing a career in the real world will teach you, it’s that you’ll learn to cry in very public places shamelessly. I’ve cried publically in Tim Hortons, Sears, Swiss Chalet and Urban Outfitters! It’s totes normal. Trust.

8. NOBODY IS REALLY SICK ON A “SICK DAY”

Remember the last time you were so violently ill you barely had the strength to check your phone or open up your laptop? Doesn’t happen that often. But the glorious thing about working in a career is that everyone is paid to take “sick” days. Sick days are great excuses to drink tea and watch Netflix in your pajamas. If you run out of vacation days, sick days will be the next best thing. So plan ahead and take your sick day like professional. Cough on people the day before and try to sneeze extra loud. Taking a sick day involves organization, planning and over-the-top dramatic acting.

9. YOU’LL WANT TO SWITCH CAREERS MORE THAN ONCE

Every. Single. Day. But don’t worry, it’s normal. I still wonder what my life would be like if I had decided to become a hairstylist. Now that you know what you’re doing at work, you’ll start to wonder if it’s the same bullshit in other jobs. Like maybe life would be a little more exciting if you trained lions or taught English in a third-world country. The options feel endless when you’re looking at everyone else and wondering if you’re sincerely happy with your original Instagram content and professional work life. But even your boss and your boss’s boss are thinking of happiness and “professional fulfillment” on the regular basis. It’s a part of the job.

10. THERE’S ONE GOOD DAY FOR FIVE BAD DAYS

Good days happen, trust me, they do. But in careers, it’s something that happens once in a while and it makes everything feel special. It’s a great feeling when it happens. As if things fell into place and all the worrying wasn’t really worth it because you’re doing what you love and it’s like a made-for-TV movie or something. You won’t realize how good of a day you had until it’s over and you’re about to go to bed and you think to yourself, “Wow, I think I love my job.” Careers are funny like that. They suck, but they’re alright sometimes.