The holiday season is here and is notorious for evoking a wide range of strong feelings in many of us. Some look forward to the holidays and others can’t wait for them to be over. For some people the holidays are full of cheer and celebration, love, giving and receiving, connectedness and joy. For others the holidays bring about stress, loneliness, struggle, sadness, isolation, disappointment and overwhelm. Whatever it is you may be feeling – your feelings are normal and real and need be acknowledged. Here are some tips to help you take care of yourself and manage during the holiday season.

Question your beliefs/thoughts/expectations around the holidays.
What do you think the holidays “should” look like? And where did you get the idea that the holidays “should” look a certain way? Do your beliefs and thoughts come from your parents, friends, the media, teachers? Are your thoughts and beliefs around the holiday season harmful and stressful or are they fulfilling and empowering? Acknowledge the limitations that have been created by some of your beliefs and ask yourself if there are more empowering beliefs and thoughts you can choose to think around the holidays.

Be honest about your feelings.
The holidays can bring about many different feelings and it is okay to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Find ways to express your feelings in healthy ways, for example, sharing your feelings with family and friends, journaling, taking to a professional, writing poetry, painting, listening to music, physical activity etc. When we give ourselves permission to acknowledge and feel our feelings we are able to move through them, hear their messages and clease and release ourselves of the past.

Check in with yourself
What do you need during the holidays to take care of yourself, prevent exhaustion, disappointment and burnout? What can I change, give up or do differently? What can I do to make this holiday season more enjoyable?

Spend time with others, but also give yourself time to be alone. If you are tired and want to leave a party early, listen to your body and take care of yourself. Make time for your own needs, whether it’s going for a run, taking a bubble bath, listening to music, writing in your journal or whatever is relaxing and soul nourishing for you.

Say “NO” to parties and gatherings that do not leave you feeling fulfilled.
If you are dreading going to an event, then give yourself permission to sit it out for whatever reason it may be. Taking care of you is a valid enough reason. Surround yourself and be with people whose company you enjoy. Rethink the “shoulds” and “oughts”. Don’t choose to make others happy by making yourself unhappy.

Do not spend beyond your means.
There is nothing worse than the stress of huge credit card bills in January. If finances are an issue this year, discuss gift exchange in advance and set comfortable expectations, perhaps, offer a gift of your time or help this year. Say no to gift exchanges that are beyond your means and that do not feel good. When we are giving within our means and from the heart, it makes the exchange all that more fulfilling.

Ask for help.
If you are planning a dinner, ask others to bring a dish, or get family members to pitch in. Ask for help with shopping, decorating, cooking etc., you do not have to do it alone.

Reach out to someone during the holidays.
Is there someone who could use your help? Donate to your favourite charity, spend time volunteering in a soup kitchen or wrapping gifts for children, make someone a gift, invite someone who is alone to join your family dinner. Do something that will help another, something straight from your heart and that feels good to you.

Give yourself permission to enjoy the holidays! Find something to enjoy in each event or activity. Remember when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.

Happy Holidays!!!