THE HILLS!!!

I could never to lie to you SDTC readers, and so the truth must finally come out. I, Olga Barsky, former Hills fanatic to the max, lost my groove.  After soaking in countless pics of the cast in rag mags, seeing firsthand the complete sack of shit that is Lauren’s fashion line, and worrying about Heidi’s face melting off…I just couldn’t deal with it all.  I needed time away. Time to recharge. Time to watch scripted television with actors who have paid their dues. I did.  And now I can now proudly announce that that this Stella has gotten her groove back.

I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into this week’s episode of The Hills, and what an episode it was!

The drama begins when Heidi drops into Audrina’s “workplace” for lunch, proving that a) if you want an itch to go away you’ve got to use special ointment and b) Audrina can’t say “NO” to save her life.  The girls have lunch together as an overjoyed Heidi remembers what its like to have friends who don’t paint graffiti murals in shared living quarters without asking first.

Meanwhile, Lauren amicably leaves (gets fired) from Teen Vogue and weasels her way into People’s Revolution as Whitney’s assistant.  Mikey the Pussycat Dolls sassy choreographer (love him!) makes an appearance in the episode; perhaps he choreographs fashion shows too?

Back at She Pratt’s pad, Spencer gives his sis the third degree about S Bar.  He’s not too happy with Girls Night and is clearly insecure about Heidi’s frequent nightly outings.  To make matters worse, he later shows up at the club, downs shots with some ladies, and goes on to get into a stupid argument with Heidi about their “relationship vacation.” It feels like the whole situation has been lifted straight from the Ross and Rachel “break” saga. Only in this case, Heidi’s the one being unreasonable.

Shortly after comes the best line in the entire show (at least this season) when Whitney and Lauren’s boss Kelly yells out “I want you to push like a mother hen” in relation to hording models to the runway.  The duo performs well and impresses Kelly yet again while Spencer and Heidi continue fighting for the cameras, and licking each other’s assholes during off hours.

Till next week!