Dear Jennifer,
I’m in my early twenties, just finished my undergrad and starting another degree in the fall. I’m in town for the summer, working, and enjoying my last few months of being an all-licensed, irresponsible, ingenue. I’m sort of “seeing” this guy from work–and by “seeing” I mean fooling around with–who is older than me. And by older, I mean 15 years my senior. I’m totally complicit in our late-night dealings and they’re loads of fun, if time-consuming and exhausting. Whatever ‘this’ is clearly isn’t going anywhere and I’m fine with that, but is there anything legitimately wrong with f*cking around with someone from a decidedly different generation? Should I care what people at work think? Or should I just continue as is and throw caution to the wind?

Thanks for your help!
Sexy Times and Older Guys

Dear Sexy Times and Older Guys,

If you are both cool and agreeable with your connection and you feel good about it, that’s what counts. You sound very clear about what you want and what you are involved in. Carefree fun seems to be the name of the game for you this summer. If your set-up with Old Spice fits with what you are looking for and what he is looking for then let it ride.

Age is just a number. And when over 18, most importantly, legal. There is nothing wrong with dating someone from a different generation. What matters is how it feels to you and whether or not you are okay with it and what may transpire from it.

Are you taking his feelings into consideration? You seem clear and cool with the situation. How about Old Spice? Does he feel the same way you do and is he looking for the same thing? You want to make sure his feelings are in check with yours and he knows your intention for the relationship and you know his.

As for people at work – one very important thing I’ve learned is that you must not let what other people think get in the way of the choices you make. People will always have their own opinions and beliefs about any given topic – there is really no right or wrong. It is merely an opinion based on what they have learned, their beliefs and their personal life experiences. You can, however, take into consideration what they are saying and give thought to it, but do not base your decisions on what other people think. Now my question for you is: As far as your question re: what co-workers are thinking or could be thinking – are these legitimate concerns for you and are you finding truth in what they are saying? If so, then you might want to look deeper before you continue. How you feel and what your gut instinct tells you is really what matters.

How are you handling this at work? Is your position in jeopardy? Also, make sure you are prepared if it goes sour and that you will be okay with seeing him on a regular basis.

Finally, you are the only one who really knows if this relationship/fling is right for you. Evaluate your doubts, and the source of those doubts, and ask yourself: is this something I really want? Is this fling adding to my life? Am I feeling good about it? After thinking it through, if you decide you want to continue, then don’t let what anyone says or age stand in your way. If not, perhaps it’s time to shake it up with another spice that tastes good to you!