Herstory

by Reta Robinson
Why we should care This Iron Lady of British politics was the first and only female prime minister of the land of tea and scones. As PM from 1979 – 1990, she lobbied for environmental issues, allied herself with the US in the cold war, and survived an IRA bombing in Brighton because she waited her turn for the loo. Talk of her tenure still incites controversy today. Her achievements put our Kim Campbell to shame.

For her biopic we’d cast a more serious Susan Sarandon

Two traits we admire Ruthlessness – She earned the nickname “Thatcher, Thatcher, Milk Snatcher” after she recalled the free milk programme in elementary schools. Pluckiness – She had the balls to preside over the old boys’ club of British politics and earned her other nickname, “Attila the Hen”.

What high school textbooks didn’t say Before she devoted her life to politics, she studied chemistry at Oxford, specializing in crystallography (which just sounds cool), and later worked for a company attempting to come up with new ways of keeping ice cream cold.

Style best described as Powersuit business chic with a twist of WASP. Never go anywhere without your brooch pinned to your lapel, a necklace and earrings (preferably pearls) and your hair perfectly coiffed.

How she’s celebrated She was made a life peer and sits in the House of Lords as Baroness Thatcher. She also earned the exclusive Order of the Garter, the UK’s highest order of chivalry.

(June 3, 1906 – April 12, 1975) 

by Bea Wayne
Why We Should Care:  This entertainer extraordinaire and American ex-patriot not only captivated audiences worldwide with her dancing, charisma and sensuality, she also used her art to combat segregation in the United States.  

Three Traits We Admire: Her promotion of diversity.  The original Angelina, she adopted twelve children from countries around the world, including Korea, Cote D’Ivoire, Venezuela and…Canada.

Her courage.  During WWII, she worked underground for the French Resistance.

Her love of animals.  At one time, she owned a snake, a goat, a parrot, parakeets, fish, three cats and seven dogs. Not to mention her most beloved pet, a cheetah named Chiquita who wore a diamond collar and performed in her act.  

Style Best Described As:  Potassium-chic.  She first gained fame for the “danse sauvage” she performed at the Folies-Bergere where her only clothing was a skirt consisting of sixteen bananas.      

What High School Text Books Didn’t Say:  After living in France, she insisted on speaking English in a French accent.  Once, a maid at a dinner party told her "honey, you is full of shit. Speak the way yo' mouth was born”.  She had the woman fired. 

How She’s Celebrated: The NAACP named May 20th Josephine Baker Day.  So think of May 20th as a day to celebrate the intersection of art and activism.  Or just perform your own “danse” wearing nothing but a string of bananas.  Pretend you can hear the deafening applause of thousands of appreciative French men.  Josephine would approve.      

For Her Biopic We’d Cast: There is already a biopic about her, but nobody plays Josephine Baker better than Josephine Baker, so check out La Sirène de Tropiques, Zouzou or Princesse Tam Tam for the real experience. 

Birth Unknown-Death 60 or 61AD

by Lizzie
Why We Should Care: This fiery queen of the Iceni went into primal defensive mother mode in 60 or 61 AD when her daughters were raped by Roman conquerors and disenfranchised of their rightful inheritance. She rallied the native kingdoms of Britain together to destroy Colchester and Londinium, massacring thousands along the route. Eventually, she was defeated at the Battle of Watling Street, but will forever be remembered as a defender of colonized peoples.

Three Traits We Admire: Mad charioteering skills, serious maternal instinct and fearlessness.

Style Best Described As: Bellicose Celtic Nobility Chic, this involves golden torc necklaces, broaches and flaming red hair.

What High School Textbooks Didn’t Say: When Boudica slaughtered noble Roman women it’s said that she’d impale them to spikes, cut off their breasts and sew them to their mouths. Also urban legends claim she’s buried under Platform 8, 9 or 10 at King’s Cross. Does her spirit ride on the Hogwart’s train departing from Platform 9 ¾? Only J.K. Rowling knows.

How She’s Celebrated: Listen in yoga, you’ll notice that Enya’s written a few songs about her. Queen Victoria identified with the powerful female leader, and so hubbie Prince Albert erected a statue in Boudica’s honour. Presumably, Indians, Irish, Bahamians, Lesothoans, Botswanians, Burmese, Egyptians and Ghanians (amongst others) disagreed with Victoria’s appropriation of this anti-colonial figure.

For Her Biopic We’d Cast: Jessi Cruickshank from The Hills Aftershow or Angelina Jolie with her hair dyed red.

August 30th 1797 – February 1st 1851

by Reta Robinson

WHY WE SHOULD CARE
This literary marvel and brain behind the Gothic novel Frankenstein was blessed with super genes. The only child of radical political philosopher William Godwin and infamous feminist Mary Wollstonecraft, Mary embraced her parents’ idees nouveau and ran off with one of her father’s followers, the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley. Legend has it that she wooed the already-married Percy at her mother’s grave, the 17th century equivalent of having sex in your parents’ bed (tsk, tsk).

THREE TRAITS WE ADMIRE
Kinky, ballsy and adventurous—not only did she have a penchance for sexual freedom, she defied her parents and the norms of the day to shack up with her married man and travel to such far-away places as France, Switzerland and Italy (this was pre-Ryanair and Easyjet, remember) all while burdened with the dreaded womanly condition (read: knocked up).

STYLE BEST DESCRIBED AS
Avant-garde intellectual nerd with a side of free love— think hot girl with glasses in a lenscrafters ad holding a pencil to her lips with a “come hither” look.

WHAT HIGH SCHOOL TEXTBOOKS DIDN’T SAY
Our little home wrecker not only stole her man Percy away from his prego wife Harriet, she married him after Harriet’s body was found in the Serpentine Lake in Hyde Park, London after an apparent suicide.

HOW SHE’S CELEBRATED
Every Halloween when you don your “Frankenstein” costume (which you are dressing up as the monster of course and not Dr. Frankenstein) a bit of Mary Shelley lives.

FOR HER BIOPIC WE’D CAST
Saucy vixen Scarlett Johansson or sexy Harvard grad Natalie Portman